History of Feminism

Little Star

(17,055 posts)

46. Context please?....

Thu Dec 12, 2013, 02:08 PM

Dec 2013

From all my years in Al-anon, working with the books, a terrific sponsor and many hundreds of meetings I know that adapting ourselves with a quiet mind to what is possible and attainable, therein lies happiness is a goal worthy of achieving.

But the reality is, it takes a very long time to reach that point. That is not the starting point, it's more the ending part. It first requires acknowledging the problem and also the part you play in that problem (enabling). And that is a very difficult concept to grasp. I doubt many could actually grasp it's true meaning on their own.

They have Al-anon meetings to help people recognize the problem by sharing their stories. Problems are not solved by ignoring them. I also learned that I (and others) needed to speak up so that others could identify the reality of what they are confronting. Otherwise the denial is so great it tends to make one think they are crazy and alone.

So, I personally think implying that anyone should basically just quiet their own mind and all will just work out fine about any struggle is not very helpful.

There is a problem here and we first need to validate for that person that yes there is a problem not tell them to go quiet their own mind.

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I really wish admin would take a look at the mens group [View all] boston bean Dec 2013 OP

What's next for DU? A "white power" group? duffyduff Dec 2013 #1

To my knowledge, there is not one MRA type... TreasonousBastard Dec 2013 #6

The people might not belong to an organized group, but the arguments duffyduff Dec 2013 #7

MRA's can't stand feminists. Many of the same posts you find boston bean Dec 2013 #12

I can hardly tell the difference with some of those posts/posters. duffyduff Dec 2013 #28

I'm going to disagree with that a bunch of them believe boston bean Dec 2013 #8

Speaking of dangerous ideologies... xulamaude Dec 2013 #23

Plus One. Tuesday Afternoon Dec 2013 #36

I took a quick peek as suggested thucythucy Dec 2013 #26

+ 1,000 Little Star Dec 2013 #30

Your suggestions are good BainsBane Dec 2013 #34

The sad irony is thucythucy Dec 2013 #38

good point and fro the record. it was us feminists that called the prison rape joke, much at our seabeyond Dec 2013 #40

I did a quick look also Gothmog Dec 2013 #80

They may not identify as such BainsBane Dec 2013 #29

I didn't even know we had a Men's Group. Jackpine Radical Dec 2013 #2

It's a group where they bash feminists. And they constantly call out HoF. boston bean Dec 2013 #3

"They constantly call out HoF"? Did you intend the irony? n/t lumberjack_jeff Dec 2013 #45

not even close jeff. nt seabeyond Dec 2013 #50

Slow day in Totally Hawt Celebs thread...? LanternWaste Dec 2013 #54

lol. warren will kick it for two years then exclaim what a success the thread is. lol seabeyond Dec 2013 #68

*hahaha...snort...hahaha* xulamaude Dec 2013 #75

ya. couldnt help myself. now the guys in that forum can say i actually lowered myself seabeyond Dec 2013 #76

oh, btw... he has a thing for brunettes... lol. seabeyond Dec 2013 #77

Hi seab. DURHAM D Dec 2013 #103

OH DURHAM... (oops) it is so good to see you. i love seeing your name in here. seabeyond Dec 2013 #104

Hey, it's political activism. Don't knock it. BainsBane Dec 2013 #114

Why not explore it and see just what it really is? TreasonousBastard Dec 2013 #4

yeah, I suggest the poster do so as well. boston bean Dec 2013 #5

Yeah, that's a good idea. nt xulamaude Dec 2013 #24

We've all been there BainsBane Dec 2013 #27

I recently told someone to look at it, just once BainsBane Dec 2013 #32

I did. thucythucy Dec 2013 #83

You mean the concern trolling/whining about "misandry" and "radfems"? YoungDemCA Dec 2013 #111

Except it spills over quite frequently into GD. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #11

i think where the problem lies is it feeds the anger and disrespect and fabrications and it does seabeyond Dec 2013 #16

Again, spot on Sea :) nt xulamaude Dec 2013 #25

Hi SeaBee! thucythucy Dec 2013 #39

hi..... but, i have been enjoying you when you do pop in. love seeing you too. seabeyond Dec 2013 #43

I gotta say how I have admired... TreasonousBastard Dec 2013 #115

As opposed to the other group? BainsBane Dec 2013 #117

You forgot the sarcasm thingie xulamaude Dec 2013 #118

thank you treason. we have had to learn to walk this in grace. a fluid balance of soft tone, seabeyond Dec 2013 #119

You can trash the whole group libodem Dec 2013 #9

I could, but I won't. Why turn a blind eye to that? boston bean Dec 2013 #10

Because it's upsetting to you libodem Dec 2013 #20

who says having knowledge and being informed leave us powerless. i suggest otherwise. seabeyond Dec 2013 #21

That is your interpretation of how I feel. boston bean Dec 2013 #22

. libodem Dec 2013 #44

ya. we can all just be silent like we are told. wtf?? i know you are playing a game. i get it. seabeyond Dec 2013 #48

Yes, but leaving that kind of stuff up for others to see... Little Star Dec 2013 #19

That's exactly what I have done BainsBane Dec 2013 #33

I get it libodem Dec 2013 #35

Context please?.... Little Star Dec 2013 #46

Thank you for that. nt xulamaude Dec 2013 #49

excellent post. well said. thank you. Tuesday Afternoon Dec 2013 #53

Absolutely, and very well said BainsBane Dec 2013 #84

I agree if it's just too much for anyone to see or read some... Little Star Dec 2013 #91

"Also what misinformation they let stand around these parts" redqueen Dec 2013 #98

Or we women could just cover our eyes (trash group) & close our ears (let it go).... Little Star Dec 2013 #99

It is irritating in the extreme to see it called 'cruising for ammo' redqueen Dec 2013 #100

how young is too young for an old man to oogle. ya. nt seabeyond Dec 2013 #102

i saw a post that said some rad fems had serious emotional problems. for a poster to falt out say seabeyond Dec 2013 #13

I did see that one BainsBane Dec 2013 #18

Well, according to community standards all of that is okay BainsBane Dec 2013 #14

Seems like this place could sometimes learn something.... Little Star Dec 2013 #15

btw.... seeing how i think there are so many areas men need to discuss honestly amongst themselves. seabeyond Dec 2013 #17

Sometimes that's where nice gets you.... Little Star Dec 2013 #31

I made that same mistake. redqueen Dec 2013 #57

yes. you did. and yes. nt seabeyond Dec 2013 #69

I am hugely disappointed, dispirited even, at the Mens Group outcome. Like you, I went to CTyankee Dec 2013 #58

"a vibrant group of men here truly supporting other men was there for them" THIS. this is what seabeyond Dec 2013 #70

shit. i wanted to participate and have fun with it also. i LOVE this subject.... behavior. seabeyond Dec 2013 #71

What a loss to the truly progressive men here who also would have loved a welcoming, supportive CTyankee Dec 2013 #82

there have been times when some step up. and then join in the mayham. and then step up. there are seabeyond Dec 2013 #86

There is one constant poster who saddens me a lot. He seems to have nothing better to do than CTyankee Dec 2013 #88

It's so pathetic. smirkymonkey Dec 2013 #113

LOL BainsBane Dec 2013 #120

Hey! I had forgotten there was a "mens group" KansDem Dec 2013 #37

. boston bean Dec 2013 #41

Happy we could oblige BainsBane Dec 2013 #61

I use the term MEN loosely when I think of that group. - Tuesday Afternoon Dec 2013 #42

I opt for menz BainsBane Dec 2013 #55

They don't know much about art either, evidently... CTyankee Dec 2013 #60

Ah, yes. The exposed nipple as porn BainsBane Dec 2013 #62

Gerrit van Honthurst, one of quite a few masters of the Golden Age of Dutch art of the 17th century. CTyankee Dec 2013 #64

Oh yeah ismnotwasm Dec 2013 #73

Thanks. I get it if someone doesn't care for art that much... CTyankee Dec 2013 #81

titty and nipple. that is what they brought to your thread on art. yea boys. nt seabeyond Dec 2013 #72

yes, I saw your thread. Silly. Childish. Stupid stuff - Tuesday Afternoon Dec 2013 #116

I have been looking at the TMG since its inception xulamaude Dec 2013 #47

Since I have that group in the trash ismnotwasm Dec 2013 #51

They insist we aren't real feminists BainsBane Dec 2013 #56

Well then ismnotwasm Dec 2013 #59

"Toxic masculinity" thucythucy Dec 2013 #87

Not original-- feel free ismnotwasm Dec 2013 #89

It does serve a useful function. Warren Stupidity Dec 2013 #52

maybe a few DU male feminists could create their own Group? zazen Dec 2013 #63

The Goodman project is a MRA group ismnotwasm Dec 2013 #65

I did read some stuff I thought was good there, boston bean Dec 2013 #67

I think DU's demographic, IIRC, is somewhat older and that might account for the tenor of the Mens CTyankee Dec 2013 #66

It goes beyond that BainsBane Dec 2013 #74

good post. nt seabeyond Dec 2013 #78

Oh, I have often thought that a good deal of "recruitment" has gone on here with "old boys networks" CTyankee Dec 2013 #85

Since I pay some attention to TMG xulamaude Dec 2013 #92

but are the younger crowd also in TMG? I'm not sure I get what you mean... CTyankee Dec 2013 #94

Not so much. Mostly xulamaude Dec 2013 #96

I get that. I'm thinking about the 20 somethings that are up and coming NOW...they are CTyankee Dec 2013 #97

that is interesting. and point. yes. nt seabeyond Dec 2013 #95

I see it as a safety valve for the lunacy that exists in every party Warpy Dec 2013 #79

I agree with the OP SCantiGOP Dec 2013 #90

If I might suggest BainsBane Dec 2013 #93

eh, they're like the gun humpers Skittles Dec 2013 #101

The gun folk do a lot of damage BainsBane Dec 2013 #105

What am I minced meat?? No offer of an ass kicking!!! boston bean Dec 2013 #106

lol lol. nt seabeyond Dec 2013 #107

You can't blame her BainsBane Dec 2013 #108

I have found when I actually talk to these knuckle draggers Skittles Dec 2013 #109

The continued existence of that group-and the validation of their views in GD... YoungDemCA Dec 2013 #110

That really is the issue BainsBane Dec 2013 #112