but my humble suggestion, for your benefit, is to go for, find and immerse yourself in "definitive" teachings at this stage.
Provisional teachings are relative and contextual. Considering your place in the journey now, this is a wonderful time to consider the definitive and that, I will leave to you to discover if you so choose to do.
Having read your current perspective, you really don't seem to need much more other than to relax and open fully to the true nature of what is, of course, ineffable. How you go from here is a pattern that is full with all meaning and, like they say, the "real thing" where all pretenses and contrivances can be comfortably let go of and you may be truly ready for the breaking of the shell of concepts and and your liberation from the cage of beliefs.
While you may think you are "going somewhere", where is there to go? While you may believe in birth and death, who is it that is born and dies? I don't mean that to be disrespectful, nor am I conveying it in any way that condescends your current understanding in view.
In a sense, I can express a joy for your meaningful experience and how much potential there is for joy to unfold for you and how the gentle breeze of pure pleasure already blows around you on the path that is always beneath your feet.
Good fortune to you and profound peace in unimaginable vastness, clear and luminous, timelessly natural and all good, always! Beyond hope and fear even now.
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