i'm back on the med wheel and we're starting marriage counselling

[fizzgig]

8. i'm trying to normalize certain behaviors right now

but i'm working against all the garbage from his childhood. he was raised to not have emotions, to not talk about them, to not talk about conflict, to not talk about anything, basically. i was raised in the opposite environment - my family talks about everything, you do not apologize for your feelings as long as you act on them appropriately, we respect each others feelings and talk through problems. i'm trying to show him that asking questions to understand his feelings/thoughts does not mean that i'm questioning or challenging the feelings or thoughts themselves, but how he got there or why he may be feeling that way. he's been in a defensive posture for so long, the simplest question will sometimes set him off.

i'm also trying to show him that taking medication is not only ok but beneficial. he's so opposed to taking meds, but i know that getting his anxiety under control will help him deal with everything else. he's not opposed to taking my ativan from time to time, but told me it was hateful and nasty to suggest that he could benefit from daily meds.

i called the marriage counselor on tuesday and still haven't heard back from him. i'm on the fence about calling him again or moving onto another one.