question about the dread of going to the therapist

[LiberalEsto]

1. Oh, BV! I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

Have you discussed this with Jane, possibly over the phone?

Do you think it might be helpful to change therapists?

This might or might not work for you, but have you ever tried to do meditation? It's not easy; I still struggle with it, but it helps with anxiety. The best writing I've found on meditation is by Thich Nhat Hanh, a Buddhist monk from Vietnam who has written many good books on mindfulness, meditation and peacemaking. His "The Miracle of Mindfulness" is one of the best places to start.

One of his meditations is my favorite:

Breathing in, I calm my body
Breathing out, I smile
Dwelling in the present moment
I know it is a wonderful moment.

I even use it to calm down my daughter's little dog. It helps when I'm stuck in traffic, or waiting for the dentist to start working on my teeth.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do!