I'm about to enter a large public facility with numerous potentially dangerous objects. God knows what I could do in my present state of mind. All kinds of possibilities for self-harm. Squats, bicep curls, free weights, elliptical machines, stationary bikes, treadmills, resistance bands. Better have them come cuff me and haul me off for a three day in the psych ward befor I spend 30 minutes doing cardio.
talk about mixed messages!
I am told by the hospital therapist, who I think is excellent at his job, that the keys to my survival are to tell the world to go fuck off and to have a positive attitude.
I tell the world to go fuck off, and I have a positive attitude, and I'm told it's clearly a symptom of mental illness.
What the fuck?
I'm beginning to wonder what this is all really about in the aggregate "big picture"?
I never considered the alternative medicine naturopathy adherents much beyond a misguided fring element. But now I wonder if they don't have some validity when they say the medical system is designed to keep people sick and dependent.
Multiple suicide attempts, multiple inpatient and outpatient hospitalization billed at thousands of dollars a day. Psychs that charge $250 an hour and therapists that charge $100. $1030 for 30 Abilify tablets. And if the Abilify doesn't work, there is always Welbutrin or Effexor or whatever else comes down the pipeline on patent.
What the Fuck indeed.
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