Thought for the Day. (TRIGGER warning: suicide mention)

[OldBaldy1701E]

13. With all due respect...

Most people don't suffer from what I suffer from. Just as it is easy for me to rush to the scene of an accident and render aid while others cannot even look in that direction, some can be 'safe in their own head'. I am not so lucky.

As stated before, I know this may come off as rather shallow and egotistical, but here we are. I still say I do not understand why there is no proof of my ever making a difference unless there was never any 'difference' made. Was everything I did a complete waste of time? Because it sure looks like it. How comforting to know that my life has had zero positive impact on anyone or anything. (I don't have to worry about the negatives... the entire world has no problem reminding me of those at every turn, and it never forgets such things. EVER. Hell, I was reminded of the time I lied to everyone about being bitten by a snake when it was briars that made the holes. I was six at the time. I was reminded of this not long ago. Something that happened over 54 years ago. No one seems to remember the good you did. Just the bad.)

Of course, there is also the simple fact that, in our culture, we seldom hear about 'good news' because those who profess to offer the news want clicks and good news just doesn't get them. That is why we get all the rethug input with little coverage of the Democratic side. They know that both sides will read their crap when it is about the MAGA and their insane leaders.

I apologise for rambling. I am not doing well these days. And, I have no one to talk to about it. I don't want to burden my husband and I have no one else to turn to.