I had asked a small favor, that he pick up our car at my work place, a block from his, after work. We were having a little Christmas pot luck so I needed to take the car that morning with my contribution. We both normally walked to and from work.
There was going to be some 'Christmas cheer' with out pot luck supper and I DO NOT drive after one drink, period.
But the (then) spouse refused to walk the one block to pick up our car and drive home, instead walking the 8 blocks home and leaving our car at my job. He had already refused tp come to our pot luck, unlike all the other spouses.
This after I had attended THREE banquets related to his job. I had to make evening clothes for each banquet because we would be at the head table as he MC-ed all three banquets and we didn't have enough income to allow for buying lots of fancy clothes.
When I walked home from my job's pot luck, leaving the car in the parking lot, he was rearranging all the furniture in the house.
I snapped. Told him what I wanted for Christmas was A WIFE! Then I went on to list all the things HIS wife did around the house in addition to working outside the home just like him. Lord knows he didn't want to interrupt watching sports on TV to help around the house or care for the offspring.
He became enraged and charged me, but backed down when he realized if he lifted a hand against me it would be the end of him. He stormed out and stayed out all night. I called a friend to scout around town for him, to no avail. He walked a couple miles and checked into a hotel. Called his mommy on me and complained how mean I was. She listened and told him he was a jackass and to go home and apologize. He was furious at HER after that. Note, she also worked all her adult life, so knew the score.
Ten years later, we divorced. Life was better alone, and I did a lot of work on ME. Met the best man ever and life with him was amazing. Empathy and support is a better thing to base marriage on.
If you are not being heard, not being supported emotionally in a marriage, it is not a marriage and you deserve better!
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