This is a hoot -

[marybourg]

3. I guess I no longer understand the meaning

of the word "organic". When I took Organic Chemistry, back in pre-history, organic meant a compound made of carbon, the same element we are made of. As far as I know petroleum jelly is the very archetype of an organic product and mineral oil is a distillate of hydrocarbons. I'm not advocating for them, but unless the meaning of the word has changed, both products you mention are very much organics, in their natural state have been in use for decades, and were generally considered safe and conservative -- and natural -- treatments.