Chronic Health Conditions Discussion and Support

DeadLetterOffice

(1,352 posts)

13. Try not to do the guilt trip

Mon Aug 17, 2015, 08:29 AM

Aug 2015

Speaking as both an inheritor and a passer-on of this thing...

My mom feels wretchedly guilty about passing this on to me, even tho we didn't know she had it until now. And frankly it drives me nuts -- it's not like she chose to give me EDS! She has nothing to apologize for, and it's hard for me to handle having to reassure her while I'm struggling with my own emotional reactions to being chronically impaired.

I try to keep this in mind when I think about passing it on to my boys. I didn't knowingly do this to them, I would NEVER knowingly do this to them, and it's not my fault. At least they have a parent who believes them, and understands, and can be knowledgeable about what they're facing.

So support your daughter every way you can, but don't feel guilty. She's not going to blame you, and you shouldn't blame yourself, either. Life is what it is, and we just get to react.

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Newly diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome... [View all] DeadLetterOffice Apr 2015 OP

I really am sorry for you and your kids. RGinNJ Apr 2015 #1

Thanks RG. DeadLetterOffice Apr 2015 #2

I just read up about it. dixiegrrrrl Apr 2015 #3

We've got the hypermobility subtype. DeadLetterOffice Apr 2015 #4

I had never heard of that until recently when I learned.. 2theleft Apr 2015 #5

I hope the best for you and your kids... Holly_Hobby May 2015 #6

I saw a genetic counselor to diagnose. DeadLetterOffice May 2015 #7

Ok, that makes sense... Holly_Hobby May 2015 #8

Good luck! DeadLetterOffice May 2015 #9

They say a geneticist is the best person to diagnose. I actually did a lot of research on my own Seeinghope Jun 2016 #15

I have not heard of this but I am glad you got a diagnosis. DawgHouse Jun 2015 #10

It really is. DeadLetterOffice Jun 2015 #11

So sorry, DeadLetterOffice. pnwmom Aug 2015 #12

Try not to do the guilt trip DeadLetterOffice Aug 2015 #13

Thanks, DLO pnwmom Aug 2015 #14

I am glad that you finally got a diagnosis. For me it connected all of the dots. Seeinghope Jun 2016 #16

Connected all my dots, too! DeadLetterOffice Jul 2016 #19

The daughter of a friend of mine has one of the variants of this Nac Mac Feegle Jul 2016 #17

I'm sure you mean well. DeadLetterOffice Jul 2016 #18

I have no intention of being condescending. Nac Mac Feegle Jul 2016 #20

Amen. DeadLetterOffice Aug 2016 #24

my daughter's pcp thinks she has this. mopinko Aug 2016 #21

just got dx'd myself Paula Sims Aug 2016 #22

Hypermobile (type 3) DeadLetterOffice Aug 2016 #23