End of Life Issues
Related: About this forumShe is gone.
My beloved soulmate, Kathleen Farago May, died today. She was 65 years old, and had been suffering from ovarian cancer for the last five months. In the end the suffering proved too much to bear, especially given that there was no chance of recovery.
Her transition happened as she had wished - peacefully at home, without pain, with serenity, awareness and deep curiosity.
The world will miss Kathy's wisdom, insight, love, humour and her overflowing creativity.
Her spirit will live on in the memories and hearts of all who knew her, as well as in the thousands of sublime works of art she created during her lifetime. Her soul has become an integral part of the world and the deeper Mystery, as it has always been.
Kathleen, we who love you honour your life, and wish you a safe, joyous and transcendent journey.
Kathy was born on May 24, 1952 in Budapest Hungary. She escaped into Austria with her parents in the final wave of refugees in 1956 by walking out across snow-covered marshes, one of the youngest children to take that route. She came as a refugee to Montreal, where she spent the next 16 years. She then spent 11 years in London Ontario where we first met in 1972, 13 years in Rochester New York, and 14 years in Los Angeles, where we were finally re-united. She spent her last seven years in Ottawa, making art full time.
She realized she was an artist at the age of five. She was especially prolific during the last decade, thanks to her embrace of digital art and fractals. She has left us an enormous body of work, literally thousands of digital paintings. Her images have caused many of her fans to say that they feel they are looking at the structure of reality itself, or perhaps getting a glimpse into their own souls. Spending time with Kathleen's work is a transcendent experience. I will always treasure the memory of watching her at work, as her Muses channeled the inspiration that flowed from her hands onto the computer screen.
Bodhi Paul Chefurka
Kathleen has asked me to share this last message with the world.
I have decided to take my leave, based on the current state of my body and quality of life. I regret only that I dont have the energy left to say an individual goodbye to each of you. I celebrate that you have each been in my life and my heart! Your friendship and love have been a pillar of strength in my life and they are treasures that I will carry with me into the mystery that awaits. Please know that the brevity of this note only reflects my waning energy, not any absence of depth of emotion and appreciation. I am deeply grateful for your presence in my life and hope that you can feel how much you each have meant to me. Thank you for all that you have done and been to me I will see you on the other side, or perhaps even before!
Kathleen Farago May

Chasstev365
(5,487 posts)LisaM
(29,209 posts)But, I am very sorry for your loss.
Autumn
(47,898 posts)Peace.
ret5hd
(21,417 posts)Maybe you could share that with us.
The Wielding Truth
(11,428 posts)raven mad
(4,940 posts)calimary
(86,408 posts)Those images are utterly hypnotic. They just suck you right in. Each one could be an all-day meditation.
Much love and solace to you, The_jackalope. Thank you so much for sharing her story, and telling us about her art. Her name and her work will live on, and will continue to inspire wonder.
xxqqqzme
(14,887 posts)Thank you for sharing.
Sorry to learn of your loss.
dhill926
(16,953 posts)sounds like you guys got it right. Sorry for your loss...
Phoenix61
(18,367 posts)It sounds like her passing was peaceful and on her own terms.
LyndaG
(683 posts)She sounded like a wonderful person.
Ilsa
(62,794 posts)Her farewell was beautifully written. I can see that the world is a lesser place without her obvious presence.
catrose
(5,272 posts)It sounds like her memory will be a blessing to many.
catbyte
(36,979 posts)something of what you're feeling. What a lovely tribute to an extraordinary woman. Again, please accept my deepest condolences.
lunasun
(21,646 posts)both were grateful to be in a time and place that this was an option in an early post.
Take some comfort in knowing she was able to transition as she wished in peace on her own timeline.
Thank you for your inspiring message Kathleen.
onecaliberal
(36,594 posts)Squinch
(55,779 posts)I wish you peace. You have clearly had great love in your life.
shenmue
(38,545 posts)
Docreed2003
(18,196 posts)Such a beautiful tribute to her legacy and spirit!
TygrBright
(21,144 posts)...to all who knew her, to all whose lives she touched, to all inspired by her story.
May comfort flow to you in your loss, and may the space of her physical absence be filled with the consolation of memory.
And may the beauty of her legacy live forever.
respectfully,
Bright
blueinredohio
(6,797 posts)BadgerMom
(3,205 posts)MrScorpio
(73,759 posts)
godsentme
(139 posts)I've been reading your posts about your journey with Kathleen. I am touched beyond words. I rarely post comments but your beautiful tribute moved me to say Thank you for sharing. Peace to you and Peaceful passing to Kathleen.
Angry Dragon
(36,693 posts)handmade34
(23,382 posts)
GeorgeGist
(25,512 posts)MLAA
(19,246 posts)CanonRay
(15,290 posts)But treasure the wonderful li you got to share.
Heartstrings
(7,349 posts)
yardwork
(66,754 posts)pnwmom
(109,865 posts)Rest in Peace, Kathleen Farago May.
And The_jackalope, may you find some consolation in your memories of the years you had together.
barbtries
(30,432 posts)i hope when it's my time i will have so much courage, love and faith.
a tiny bit of advice from a bereaved mother: look for the signs. peace and comfort to you in your grief. PM me any time if you ever need to vent.
chillfactor
(7,694 posts)I am glad it was peaceful....keep her locked in your heart....she will always be there until you see her again.
Amaryllis
(10,376 posts)of you yesterday and hoping it was a very special last day for you with your beloved Kathleen.
denbot
(9,931 posts)Peace to you and yours.
JohnnyLib2
(11,276 posts)and what a wonderful spirit was displayed in her message.
May that spirit, and the good memories, sustain you.

montana_hazeleyes
(3,424 posts)I am glad you had such great love together. Her letter brought tears to my eyes. I could feel the special goodness in her.
Eko
(9,228 posts)Keep on keeponing. I found this after my dad passed, I still watch it and cry for happiness, maybe it will touch you like it touched me.
"The universe is in us"
Peace.
SammyWinstonJack
(44,294 posts)

benld74
(10,107 posts)mobeau69
(11,973 posts)Thank you for sharing this beautiful post.
The_REAL_Ecumenist
(912 posts)Blessing and peace to you and safe journey home to Kathleen....
Shanti Mama
(1,288 posts)I feel deeply blessed to be a witness of sorts to your lives and her death. May peace be with you.
onecent
(6,096 posts)TNNurse
(7,336 posts)because it replaces the pain they have suffered. We can do it for them.
JHan
(10,173 posts)Sorry for your loss.
ms liberty
(10,230 posts)
OldManTarHeel
(435 posts)The loss of a life partner can be devastating . . Godspeed.
democrank
(11,488 posts)Rest In Peace, Kathleen Farago May.
a kennedy
(33,583 posts)To my loved ones:
I have decided to take my leave, based on the current state of my body and quality of life. I regret only that I dont have the energy left to say an individual goodbye to each of you. I celebrate that you have each been in my life and my heart! Your friendship and love have been a pillar of strength in my life and they are treasures that I will carry with me into the mystery that awaits. Please know that the brevity of this note only reflects my waning energy, not any absence of depth of emotion and appreciation. I am deeply grateful for your presence in my life and hope that you can feel how much you each have meant to me. Thank you for all that you have done and been to me I will see you on the other side, or perhaps even before!
Kathleen Farago May
world wide wally
(21,836 posts)volstork
(5,612 posts)
snacker
(3,641 posts)Sorry for your loss. Your tribute to her is lovely, and her message to the world is beautiful.
broadcaster90210
(333 posts)nt
Lifelong Protester
(8,421 posts)No Vested Interest
(5,245 posts)CrispyQ
(39,694 posts)I loved this: She realized she was an artist at the age of five.
FakeNoose
(37,452 posts)It is the absolute worst! The cure for cancer is out there and we just aren't trying hard enough to find it.
I'm so sorry for your loss and I'm sorry the world has lost Kathleen. Thanks for sharing her story with us.
Peace to you, Jackalope!
mountain grammy
(27,832 posts)I'm so sorry for your loss.
riversedge
(75,684 posts)dflprincess
(28,824 posts)Be kind to yourself in the following days and weeks.
cilla4progress
(26,319 posts)Peace to you now, Jackalope.
I'm sure you are comforted by the many memories and artworks, while missing your soulmate terribly.
Don't hesitate to share. ❤️
kimbutgar
(25,145 posts)She left this dimension knowing she was safe and loved. Take comfort brother.
sharedvalues
(6,916 posts)She sounds like a wonderful person. I hope you carry her fondly in your memory. It's so hard to have one phase of your life end when a loved one dies and find new peace and forge a new life going forward.
murielm99
(31,960 posts)But she sounds like a wonderful person, who went out the way she chose.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
riverbendviewgal
(4,356 posts)The world has lost a wonderful artist. Her works will live on. May you find comfort and peace,
EllieBC
(3,452 posts)may you know no more sorrow.
sinkingfeeling
(55,230 posts)to the Great Unknown. Her art and her spirit will always be with you.
I wish you peace.
Duppers
(28,344 posts)They convey such love and understanding.
You remember, she rests in the grace of the universe. We all are, were, and will always be stars made conscious.
May you continue in her love, peace, and knowledge.
progressoid
(51,391 posts)Pepsidog
(6,339 posts)Though I am new to DU it seems like some very thoughtful people participate. I am sorry this eloquent voice is now silent. RIP
WheelWalker
(9,320 posts)SonofDonald
(2,050 posts)She will live forever as part of the universe as will we all, she will always be with you.
My deepest condolences.
Honeycombe8
(37,648 posts)central scrutinizer
(12,579 posts)And I still cry often. Like your loved one, she was a wonderful person. I don't want to "snap out of it." Somebody that special will leave a hole that can't be filled, that you don't want to fill. I will grieve as long as I breathe. I want to give you a hug and any support I can share.
3catwoman3
(26,724 posts)From you, The-jackalope, from your beloved Kathleen, and from DU members. I cannot think of anything to add that has not already been said, other than to say again how much I respect and admire the strength, grit, grace and determination you have both shown in this most challenging time.
Bettie
(18,312 posts)I can only imagine how hard it was to say good bye to your beloved.
SergeStorms
(19,602 posts)I can't imagine the feelings you're experiencing right now. Kathleen sounded like a very kind, gentle, loving soul, and I'm sorry I never met her. Her suffering is now over. I hope you're doing well, and thanks for letting your family at DU know.
For Kathleen Farago May
jmbar2
(6,882 posts)I checked out her artwork with the help of Google. It is magnificent.
It is said that you are not really gone until no one can remember that you existed. Today, your beloved Kathleen exists for many who never had the blessing to meet her.
My deepest condolences.
StevieM
(10,573 posts)Moral Compass
(1,971 posts)There is no way to make the pain go away. Indeed, it will surge into you later--unanticipated and uninvited--when some random thing triggers your memory.
But you describe a rich life and a parting from that life chosen rather than imposed.
I don't know you, but I've felt loss before and can sympathize and I offer my heartfelt condolences.
Bless you and bless her.
madaboutharry
(41,911 posts)and allowing us to know a little about her. She must have been inspiring to those around her. My warmest thoughts to those who loved her.
MontanaMama
(24,408 posts)on the loss of your beloved Kathleen. These are difficult days to be sure. Please be gentle with yourself. You have touched me by sharing your journey. Thank you dear jackalope. Safe home, Kathleen.
brer cat
(26,955 posts)A lovely tribute, Jackalope.
raven mad
(4,940 posts)jackalope, I am so sorry. My heart is breaking for you. We will always be here for you, always.
AllyCat
(17,925 posts)What a beautiful tribute you have written. Safe passage to Kathleen's incredible energy. May peace find you in your grief.
GP6971
(34,927 posts)I went through the exact same scenario 12 years ago. We all are honored and graced to know and love such a person.
Iggo
(48,854 posts)
PatrickforO
(15,217 posts)the transition while we're left here.
But, man, her art! You know what my favorite is? The one of her hugging the tree, called Love of Life. Her memory will live on as long as this body of artwork inspires us.
AnotherDreamWeaver
(2,910 posts)

dae
(3,396 posts)gopiscrap
(24,364 posts)you are in my thoughts and prayers what an amazing women!!!
herding cats
(19,689 posts)When it's my time I can only hope someone will memorialize me with such love and passion.
I send you peace and gentle thoughts tonight. May the winds between us carry them to your home and deliver them to your heart.
RestoreAmerica2020
(3,462 posts)
Solly Mack
(95,013 posts)Lovely tribute.
KT2000
(21,450 posts)So sorry for your loss, peace to you.
dixiegrrrrl
(60,040 posts)which says volumes about you also, and how courageously you faced such a hard, and loving, decision.
DarthDem
(5,388 posts)I'm so sorry for your loss. She was clearly a fantastic, beloved person. Your words and hers are deeply moving. Best wishes.

The Wielding Truth
(11,428 posts)You were blessed.
ATL Ebony
(1,097 posts)R.I.P. Ms Kathleen Farago May.
tavernier
(13,707 posts)
Danmel
(5,433 posts)Wishing you strength and peace.
peacebuzzard
(5,563 posts)For the loss of Kathleen.
Words are hard to find.
lostnfound
(16,986 posts)Rest In Peace to your beautiful soulmate.
We feel great pain with great loss, which is a sign that we were truly blessed, and our hearts make a giant hole, to make room for keeping our loved one whole and giving them the space to keep living.
deek
(3,416 posts).
Gothmog
(163,529 posts)marked50
(1,496 posts)lunatica
(53,410 posts)It swells my chest with emotion. You were blessed, but you already know this. I think you will feel her presence always.
I hope my passing will be as dignified.
GoneOffShore
(17,801 posts)NewJeffCT
(56,844 posts)you have my condolences.
Initech
(104,932 posts)
Denis 11
(281 posts)Very sorry for your loss.
Borchkins
(730 posts)RIP
gademocrat7
(11,483 posts)NastyRiffraff
(12,448 posts)I'm very sorry for your loss, but I'm glad she went "peacefully at home, without pain, with serenity, awareness and deep curiosity."
iluvtennis
(21,219 posts)CousinIT
(11,405 posts)If this is hers, it's VERY beautiful. Ethereal.
The_jackalope
(1,660 posts)


hamsterjill
(15,881 posts)She must've been a very special soul. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Your tribute is beautiful, and I'm sure she's smiling down on you.
niyad
(123,872 posts)Lochloosa
(16,542 posts)
Dark n Stormy Knight
(10,380 posts)Condolences to both of you for the loss this transition brings. May the memory of the beautiful union always be a part of what sustains you.
redstatebluegirl
(12,715 posts)ck4829
(36,903 posts)Ninga
(8,845 posts)MuseRider
(34,673 posts)Your strength through this has been amazing. I hope it continues to hold you up as you do the grief work still ahead of you. For now please accept my condolences to you. You and your wife are a perfect example of love and the ability to understand one another and do the right thing.
Be at peace, you were a wonderful husband to her. I will be thinking of you both.
RIP Kathleen Farago May May your journey be peaceful and interesting.
sdfernando
(5,727 posts)Moostache
(10,526 posts)May she rest in peace and live on in your memories.
2naSalit
(96,921 posts)
Beacool
(30,388 posts)Before commenting I looked her up online. Her art is fantastic, I would have loved to own a piece. It's beautiful work. I uploaded Aries, my astrological symbol, so that others can see her work.
She seems to have been a wonderful person, aside from being a talented artist. My condolences to you and your loved ones.
Permanut
(7,107 posts)Thanks for sharing your journey (and hers) with us.
TrollBuster9090
(6,061 posts)I'll look forward to meeting her on the other side.
In the meantime, my deepest condolences to you.
alfredo
(60,180 posts)NNadir
(35,882 posts)Condolences on the loss, and congratulations on having been with her.
mr_lebowski
(33,643 posts)