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bif

(25,114 posts)
Mon Apr 7, 2025, 11:12 AM Apr 7

Rough night last evening

Some old friends are in town and they're spending a couple nights with us. Last night they and my wife were really hooking into the booze and it drove me crazy. I managed not to drink, but it sure brought back memories of getting drunk together. I ended up heading upstairs to my lair about 10 to watch a movie and treat myself to a bowl of ice cream. Yikes! One more evening and I'll be out of the woods!

19 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Rough night last evening (Original Post) bif Apr 7 OP
I am amazed by your strength! cilla4progress Apr 7 #1
Hang in there! You can do it! SheltieLover Apr 7 #2
Oh wow, that was hard! Hope22 Apr 7 #3
I applaud your strength and abhor the behavior of your 'friends'... Moostache Apr 7 #4
Is your wife not supportive of your sobriety? rzemanfl Apr 7 #5
That's a hard part...congrats to you... MiHale Apr 7 #6
Gods that must be hard. MuseRider Apr 7 #7
Being haunted by their temptations is just not very fair. magicarpet Apr 7 #8
They're really dear old friends. bif Apr 7 #9
Best Wishes to You on this tough road. There are great things ahead on that road.-n/t marked50 Apr 7 #10
You'll be fine Figarosmom Apr 7 #11
You can do this cate94 Apr 7 #12
Stay strong. LoisB Apr 7 #13
Good for you! 24 hours at a time... RainCaster Apr 7 #14
Way to go bif 👍🏼 Clouds Passing Apr 7 #15
You did good. applegrove Tuesday #16
A repeat last night bif Tuesday #17
Been there. Maninacan Wednesday #18
My reward is bif Wednesday #19

Hope22

(3,890 posts)
3. Oh wow, that was hard!
Mon Apr 7, 2025, 11:21 AM
Apr 7

I’m sorry you had to deal with it! Hope you were able to out wait them on the cleanup detail! May tonight be easier but either way hang tough! It’s so not worth the pain. Love to you!💗🙏🏼

Moostache

(10,427 posts)
4. I applaud your strength and abhor the behavior of your 'friends'...
Mon Apr 7, 2025, 11:29 AM
Apr 7

True friends understand that when one of their own is hurting, and in need of support, that habits detrimental to that person are secondary and should be what's sacrificed temporarily. Otherwise, its patently selfish to say "fuck you and your problems, I'M GETTING HAMMERED anyway". We all make choices about out behaviors and also make choices of how that effects those in our friend groups and social circles...

When I quit smoking many years ago (2008), I was forced to abandon an entire set of former friends because they were unwilling to simply not smoke in front of me or while I was in the group. It was not a decision I wanted, but it was one that was given to me instead - stay with the group of people purporting to be my friends and resume smoking, or make a new group of friends amennable to my health concerns. A side-effect of this was that I pretty much quit drinking as well, though my addiction was the nicotine and behavioral reinforcements of being in pool halls and bars that encouraged both (at the time there was no public prohibitions at all).

I wish you continued strength and best wishes for your sobriety.

rzemanfl

(30,500 posts)
5. Is your wife not supportive of your sobriety?
Mon Apr 7, 2025, 11:32 AM
Apr 7

I am sure the situation is awkward for her. Having these people stay with you was probably not the best idea. You only have to make it through one more day and night. You can do it.

MiHale

(11,525 posts)
6. That's a hard part...congrats to you...
Mon Apr 7, 2025, 11:35 AM
Apr 7

A few years into my quit I was able to sit back and enjoy their drunkenness. It was kinda fun. Then I had a nice morning fixing breakfast and chatting with hungover friends, much to their dismay.

Congratulations again for keeping your sobriety.
I had great support I must admit.

MuseRider

(34,564 posts)
7. Gods that must be hard.
Mon Apr 7, 2025, 11:37 AM
Apr 7

Good for you. Every time you do that I hope you celebrate yourself for your strength. Been through it with a few others, I am one of the lucky people who can drink or drug and get crazy messed up (back in the olden days of youth) and just sleep it off and go another year or two before even wanting it again. My mother and one of my brothers were bad with drinking. Both dead far too young.

magicarpet

(17,984 posts)
8. Being haunted by their temptations is just not very fair.
Mon Apr 7, 2025, 11:37 AM
Apr 7

At least you have the strength and sense to weather the storm.

bif

(25,114 posts)
9. They're really dear old friends.
Mon Apr 7, 2025, 11:47 AM
Apr 7

We've had good times with them. We go back to my high school days. And my wife has been friends with them since college, back in the mid 1970s. We even went on vacation together (to England) in the early 80s. My wife is totally supportive. They moved to Texas about a dozen years ago and hardly ever come back to Michigan. It was easier than you'd think.

Figarosmom

(5,147 posts)
11. You'll be fine
Mon Apr 7, 2025, 01:48 PM
Apr 7

I think you realize it's just not something worth your time any longer.

When you get the urge do just what you did last night. Go off by yourself and enjoy something good for you that you love.

cate94

(2,949 posts)
12. You can do this
Mon Apr 7, 2025, 02:07 PM
Apr 7

I’ve managed to do this since the first days after rehab. I’ve found myself sometimes jealous but chocolate gets me through it. A plan for leaving when it gets difficult is your best bet and exactly what you did by going upstairs to watch a movie. Bravo to you!

I hate vodka, so I would ask friends to drink that or wine. Whiskey was hard for me to ignore at first, but it is getting easier. And I actually like being sober now! Again, leaving when it gets difficult is your best defense. Eventually you won’t miss it.

bif

(25,114 posts)
17. A repeat last night
Tue Apr 8, 2025, 08:03 AM
Tuesday

The wine was flowing freely. I ducked out around 9ish and my wife said I needed some "me time." I wan't tempted to drink, but after a while, the conversations just get kind of boring.

Maninacan

(119 posts)
18. Been there.
Wed Apr 9, 2025, 01:56 PM
Wednesday

My SO is very supportive. She only drinks occasionally an an event or dinner. You should go somewhere ,Treat Yourself to a movie or something.

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