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JMCKUSICK

(7,122 posts)
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 07:46 PM Monday

I just got off the phone with the Veterinarian,



Barring a miracle, I'm going to have to go have Cuddles put down tomorrow morning.

Oh God, this is so shocking to me. Both Toby and I are heartbroken.

I guess it's my turn to pay for all that love that he gave me, yet I can only sit here in gratitude for how he became so very very important to me living at all.

Toby was his "dad", but I was his buddy, and he mine.

I failed him these last couple of weeks, my gut knew, I swear it. And I didn't trust it.

I have to say I'm sorry to him tomorrow and pray for forgiveness, right along with all the thanks I owe him.

I only had three names for him and Toby had one, Percy. Mine were Pretty Boy, Cuddles and My Good Boy.
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I just got off the phone with the Veterinarian, (Original Post) JMCKUSICK Monday OP
It seems that you are doing him a kindness biophile Monday #1
Exactly. We can give them a quiet and gentle passing. erronis Monday #10
I know you're right, and I feel right doing it, JMCKUSICK Monday #18
Cuddles knows you love him. Maybe he wanted to stay with you as long as he could catrose Monday #39
Your avatar looks like him, he had a round happy face JMCKUSICK Monday #43
Really? Then I know he wanted every possible minute with you. catrose Monday #67
He so loved our walks, JMCKUSICK Yesterday #68
I am so sorry. John. Love, debbie debm55 Monday #2
Thank you Debbie, you're the best. JMCKUSICK Monday #19
Do NOT beat yourself up. Life is finite and, yeah, that hurts Attilatheblond Monday #3
I'm certainly open to that, I still talk to his sister Snuggles every single day. JMCKUSICK Monday #9
😢 johnp3907 Monday #4
How beautiful JohnP3907 JMCKUSICK Monday #11
I love this piece BonnieJW Monday #22
😢 bamagal62 Monday #33
Oh no, John! What did the vet say is wrong with him? SheltieLover Monday #5
His kidneys have just shut down JMCKUSICK Monday #12
Oh no! SheltieLover Monday #13
Thank you SheltieLover JMCKUSICK Monday #21
You are a great guy, John SheltieLover Monday #25
I am so sorry to hear this Alephy Monday #6
Thank you Alephy JMCKUSICK Monday #63
It's so hard 😫 i know Faux pas Monday #7
I'm sorry John Niagara Monday #8
Yu always do yr best SuzyandPuffpuff Monday #14
So sorry Omaha Steve Monday #15
I'm sorry for your loss, it's something every pet owner eventually has to face FakeNoose Monday #16
Love in action, for the benefit of another LatteLady Monday #17
I'm so sorry - it is the very worst part of pet ownership. TBF Monday #20
I remember being thirteen and understanding that pain is the price we pay JMCKUSICK Monday #57
I am so sad for you, John. Nanuke Monday #23
Thank you so very much Nanuke, JMCKUSICK Monday #58
I'm so so sorry. Peace to you, John Scrivener7 Monday #24
I'm so sorry! Ocelot II Monday #26
"We who choose to surround ourselves The Wizard Monday #27
I'm sorry MustLoveBeagles Monday #28
So sorry so sad. I know how it feels. I'm going through it too stay strong. Walleye Monday #29
JohnP reminded us of what they would say if they could talk to us, Thanks for everything. I had a wonderful time. Polly Hennessey Monday #30
❣️🫂 littlemissmartypants Monday #31
I'm sorry you are suffering through this painful time. JoseBalow Monday #32
I am so sorry. ❤️ bamagal62 Monday #34
I am so sorry for you. I've had to let a pet go twice. It is always heart wrenching. He'll always be with you. Fla Dem Monday #35
I'm so sorry. This is hard. yardwork Monday #36
Been there Botany Monday #37
John... LuckyCharms Monday #38
Oh no, John, this is not what any of us wanted to hear MIButterfly Monday #40
So sorry for you. I had to put my kacekwl Monday #41
Deepest condolences to you SheltieLover Monday #52
Thanks kacekwl Yesterday #82
Sorry to hear this, kacekwl Bayard Monday #59
Thank you kacekwl Yesterday #81
I am so sorry for your loss, kacekwl MIButterfly Monday #65
Thanks kacekwl Yesterday #80
Lady of the Beasts, please take Your little one gently home in Your niyad Yesterday #70
Just an hour ago, I posted this in a different thread. maybe it will help a little. 3catwoman3 Monday #42
That's a fantastic perspective, and I'll keep it with me tomorrow. JMCKUSICK Monday #45
So very sorry angrychair Monday #44
Thanks for the reminder that a miracle is indeed possible Angrychair. JMCKUSICK Monday #47
gentle 🫂 mwmisses4289 Monday #46
I lost my "big dog" about five weeks ago. Ilsa Monday #48
Thank you Ilsa, I appreciate the sentiment. JMCKUSICK Monday #51
Deepest condolences to you SheltieLover Monday #53
"" AllaN01Bear Monday #49
Sorry to hear this orangecrush Monday #50
I'm so very sorry. sinkingfeeling Monday #54
Thank you Sinkingfeeling. JMCKUSICK Yesterday #79
I'm so sorry for you. MN2theMax Monday #55
Thank you MN2theMax, JMCKUSICK Monday #56
I'm so sorry, John Bayard Monday #60
Thank you Bayard, I'll truly be honored to do that for him, JMCKUSICK Monday #61
I really am so sorry. LoisB Monday #62
Thank you LoisB, I know and feel it from here. JMCKUSICK Monday #64
My dear friend, I am so very sorry to hear this. Please know that you niyad Monday #66
Thank you Niyad, you must be an answer to one of my prayers, JMCKUSICK Yesterday #69
They will take good care of hm and his sister. And do not be surprised niyad Yesterday #71
I fully expect something to happen, it's crazy how JMCKUSICK Yesterday #74
Thinking of you, and Cuddles Laurelin Yesterday #72
Thank you Laurelin. JMCKUSICK Yesterday #78
Oh John, 😞 I am so sorry you are having to face this. Know that the deep sadness you feel is the true evidence that KitFox Yesterday #73
I've thought that in heaven, he will be a story JMCKUSICK Yesterday #75
Just be there with Toby. Dunc Yesterday #76
Good morning Dunc, JMCKUSICK Yesterday #77

biophile

(1,764 posts)
1. It seems that you are doing him a kindness
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 07:56 PM
Monday

They are so good at hiding pain and discomfort because they don’t show it the way we do. They don’t loudly complain - they stop eating or hide. You are most likely saving him pain and giving him relief and a dignified passing with you there by his side.
Wishing all of you peace….

erronis

(25,289 posts)
10. Exactly. We can give them a quiet and gentle passing.
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 08:24 PM
Monday

But we can't do that for ourselves.

JMCKUSICK

(7,122 posts)
18. I know you're right, and I feel right doing it,
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 08:45 PM
Monday

It's the conversation I have to have with him first that's gonna be hard.

Slight understatement.

Thank you Biophile

catrose

(5,393 posts)
67. Really? Then I know he wanted every possible minute with you.
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 11:45 PM
Monday

Those cats are so loving l

JMCKUSICK

(7,122 posts)
68. He so loved our walks,
Tue Jul 14, 2026, 12:05 AM
Yesterday

I'd start getting ready and I'd talk to him, like getting psyched up, and he would get up and always beat me to the door.

The long ones were the best, on those 70 degree days where we'd lay out in the sun by the pond, him either on me or nestled right next to me, I'd be talking to Butterflies and Dragon Flies and he'd be humming along with his purr.

Attilatheblond

(9,578 posts)
3. Do NOT beat yourself up. Life is finite and, yeah, that hurts
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 08:01 PM
Monday

but you can't fail when EVERY life has an expiration.

I have a psychologist pal who is also pretty spiritual in non-traditional sense. He always says, watch for a sign in about 3 days. Chances are something will get a message if you are open to receiving. And that's hard when you are grieving.

My pal always said to watch the behavior of any other pets in the house, sometimes they receive what we ignore or miss. My old dog and female cat moped for 2.5 days after we had to have the young cat put down due to a lung failure. Late on that third day, dog and female cat got REAL happy and seemed to be playing joyfully with something we couldn't see. They got much better after that and both started eating again after refusing food after we lost Pete. It was weird, but my friend just said 'Told ya'.

SheltieLover

(83,219 posts)
5. Oh no, John! What did the vet say is wrong with him?
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 08:02 PM
Monday

My heart goes out to you, my friend.

Let's keep hoping for an overnight miracle!!!

JMCKUSICK

(7,122 posts)
21. Thank you SheltieLover
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 08:51 PM
Monday

I don't know if this makes sense, but for the second time in my life, I get to say good bye the right way.

For a man that spent decades hiding from his feelings, I get to honor him most by having them and giving him comfort as he leaves for the rainbow 🌈 bridge.

It means I'm a better person than I was twenty years ago.

SuzyandPuffpuff

(833 posts)
14. Yu always do yr best
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 08:35 PM
Monday

We do what we can at the time. Bottom line you're there for him when he needs yu the most. Yuk ... its never ez...he needs Yu to b strong during this so don't add to his stress. cry after. Sorry ... such visceral pain

FakeNoose

(43,430 posts)
16. I'm sorry for your loss, it's something every pet owner eventually has to face
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 08:43 PM
Monday

I lost my Buddy a year ago and I still think of him every day. It's hard to say goodbye, but you'll be there when it's time for him to cross the Rainbow Bridge. He'll see your face and hear your voice, and he'll know that you love him very much. He'll know he's a Good Boy.

LatteLady

(106 posts)
17. Love in action, for the benefit of another
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 08:45 PM
Monday

I know this is so hard and I’m sorry. But please please know, they depend on us to alleviate their suffering. This is a gift you give, of mercy and release. I’ll be thinking of you all.

JMCKUSICK

(7,122 posts)
57. I remember being thirteen and understanding that pain is the price we pay
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 11:00 PM
Monday

For love lost. It's only right and the best way to honor my Cuddles is to welcome the bill.

JMCKUSICK

(7,122 posts)
58. Thank you so very much Nanuke,
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 11:03 PM
Monday

I know he's been a part of our communication over time, so please give Nora and Samson extra hugs and kisses.

Ocelot II

(132,075 posts)
26. I'm so sorry!
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 09:04 PM
Monday

It's so hard. But you don't have to be sorry; you didn't fail him. You loved him and that's what matters.

The Wizard

(14,005 posts)
27. "We who choose to surround ourselves
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 09:08 PM
Monday

with lives even more temporary than our own live within a fragile circle"
(Irving Townsend)
RIP Cuddles

Polly Hennessey

(9,109 posts)
30. JohnP reminded us of what they would say if they could talk to us, Thanks for everything. I had a wonderful time.
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 09:20 PM
Monday

Tiger knows this and he also knows that he was loved in return. Loving our pets is one of the best things we do. You loved yours and you bridged that space that gave to them the understanding that some humans are worthy of their respect and love. Grief is such a crushing emotion but one that we must accept for the love and loyalty they give to us.

I hope tomorrow will bring the sunshine back but if it doesn’t happen to just remember the wonderfulness of Tiger’s love.

And, by chance, if another Tiger should come into your life know that will be the greatest tribute you can give Tiger - loving another perfect creature.

JoseBalow

(10,018 posts)
32. I'm sorry you are suffering through this painful time.
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 09:29 PM
Monday

I know how difficult it is to face this inconsolable sorrow. There's no way to make it easier, or to hurt less. I hope you can take some comfort from knowing that, like your sweet Cuddles, you are not going through it alone.

Fla Dem

(27,898 posts)
35. I am so sorry for you. I've had to let a pet go twice. It is always heart wrenching. He'll always be with you.
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 09:37 PM
Monday

Botany

(78,470 posts)
37. Been there
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 09:40 PM
Monday

This will hurt no matter what you do but if you have to do what is needed to be done
and your buddy doesn’t have to suffer anymore that is the right thing to do.

LuckyCharms

(23,514 posts)
38. John...
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 09:48 PM
Monday

You are the best buddy to him, and you made his life better.

Remember that, his life was better because of you.

Tomorrow will be two weeks since we put our dog down.

I'm still crying several times a day. but it slowly gets just a bit better each day after the first week. Kind of.

You'll get through this. And the only way out of it...is through it.

We can go through this together if you want.

Send me a message if you need someone to grieve with.

It will be alright John. I promise you.

Just understand that there are many here who know exactly how hard this is.

You're not alone.

I asked my dog to come to me in a dream after he passed. He did come to me in a dream, and it was joyful.

Ask Cuddles to come to you in a dream before he passes. And he will at some point.

Again, you're not alone.



MIButterfly

(3,691 posts)
40. Oh no, John, this is not what any of us wanted to hear
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 10:05 PM
Monday

Last edited Mon Jul 13, 2026, 11:38 PM - Edit history (1)

My heart breaks for you and for Cuddles. You know he would never leave you unless he had to. I know how difficult it is. I wish I had the right words of wisdom at this sad time, but I really don't think there are any. Just please know I share your pain and sorrow and I extend to you and Toby my deepest sympathy.

Please don't beat yourself up. You didn't fail Cuddles. Cats are very good at hiding symptoms when they're sick until it's practically too late. It's an instinct, their way of survival in the wild that's inbred in all of them. You loved Cuddles and he loved you and that's all that matters.

niyad

(135,936 posts)
70. Lady of the Beasts, please take Your little one gently home in Your
Tue Jul 14, 2026, 12:10 AM
Yesterday

loving arms, and send peace and comfort to their grieving loved ones.

So very sorry for the loss of your precious baby.

3catwoman3

(30,399 posts)
42. Just an hour ago, I posted this in a different thread. maybe it will help a little.
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 10:15 PM
Monday

In our family, we have chosen to call this “liberating the spirit.” It was my idea. Being a word nerd, and picky about accuracy, I was never comfortable with ‘put to sleep’ - how we wish they were only sleeping. ‘Euthanize’ is accurate, but feels very cold and impersonal, and ‘put down’ calls to mind bullying behaviors between humans.

Liberating the spirit, at least for me, sounds soft and compassionate, and makes that difficult decision infinitesimally less wrenching.

Ilsa

(64,849 posts)
48. I lost my "big dog" about five weeks ago.
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 10:27 PM
Monday

He didn't seem to be in much pain, and knowing how much he hated going to the vet, I decided to wait until he showed more signs of discomfort. He went pretty quickly, just one scary moment, but I had my arms around him, telling him to go to Daddy. I don't regret how I handled it.

Peace to you, fellow dog lover. You've made a difference in the world.

orangecrush

(32,104 posts)
50. Sorry to hear this
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 10:30 PM
Monday

I almost lost my fur baby, she had emergency surgery last week but pulled through.

Deeply sadddned.


MN2theMax

(2,366 posts)
55. I'm so sorry for you.
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 10:47 PM
Monday

It is the hardest thing to lose a beloved companion. Been through it many times, and always, I say “never again!” (That never works.)
To know when it is time is the hardest thing. I wish you comfort and peace. I’m sure that you did all that you could do.
My heart goes out to you.

JMCKUSICK

(7,122 posts)
56. Thank you MN2theMax,
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 10:55 PM
Monday

Choosing the time wasn't an issue here as he literally went from playing and seemingly enjoying life to spending his last 24 hours on my bed not eating or moving much.

When the Vet says it there's been no improvement, or a lot of time to mess with.

And I've never been a never again guy, each cat I've had has made me a better friend to the next one I've gotten. All but one, rescues of the best kind, right off the streets, and even Petunia, she was found on the streets before ending up in a few shelters. And all wonderfully unique.

Bayard

(30,919 posts)
60. I'm so sorry, John
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 11:21 PM
Monday

It never gets any easier to lose a beloved fur kid, I know from much experience.

I've always held any of mine that had to leave me. It really helps them not be scared, and they take the pettings and sound of your loving voice with them. You're doing the right thing.

JMCKUSICK

(7,122 posts)
61. Thank you Bayard, I'll truly be honored to do that for him,
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 11:32 PM
Monday

as much as he's done for me.

niyad

(135,936 posts)
66. My dear friend, I am so very sorry to hear this. Please know that you
Mon Jul 13, 2026, 11:44 PM
Monday

and your precious boy have all our love and support in this heart-and-gut-wrenching moment. He knows that you love him, and he knows you did your best. When the time comes tomorrow, if he does not leave tonight, know that we are there for both of you. And know that the love in your eyes and heart are what he will carry with him. I am sending my babies to the Bridge to wait for him. He will not be alone, and neither are you.

JMCKUSICK

(7,122 posts)
69. Thank you Niyad, you must be an answer to one of my prayers,
Tue Jul 14, 2026, 12:08 AM
Yesterday

Because I asked for friendly greetings when he crosses, for someone to keep him safe and happy til I come home, and of course to see his sister Snuggles again.

Tell your babies he's a little shy at first, but will be the best friend they could ask for.

niyad

(135,936 posts)
71. They will take good care of hm and his sister. And do not be surprised
Tue Jul 14, 2026, 12:15 AM
Yesterday

if either of them come to visit you.

Laurelin

(995 posts)
72. Thinking of you, and Cuddles
Tue Jul 14, 2026, 01:34 AM
Yesterday

Saying goodbye is awful.
So is kidney failure. I've lost two cats and a dog.to it. Deciding to let go is awful. I always feel like I wait too long, but I think if Cuddles was playing last week he still had quality of life, so don't blame yourself.

IIn the Netherlands they say "sterkte." I think in German i its "mut." I wish you strength in this difficult time.

KitFox

(621 posts)
73. Oh John, 😞 I am so sorry you are having to face this. Know that the deep sadness you feel is the true evidence that
Tue Jul 14, 2026, 01:55 AM
Yesterday

your precious Cuddles had the very best home and life. Sending love and gentle hugs. 🩷🩷

JMCKUSICK

(7,122 posts)
75. I've thought that in heaven, he will be a story
Tue Jul 14, 2026, 02:19 AM
Yesterday

Teller, he had quite the adventure for a life for such a short time.

Thank you for the kind words KitFox

JMCKUSICK

(7,122 posts)
77. Good morning Dunc,
Tue Jul 14, 2026, 08:37 AM
Yesterday

Forgive me for not clarifying in my post that Toby is my roommate, but I am taking your advice with Shadow and Petunia.

Shadow looks completely lost, like she's waiting for him to get home. She's been off to herself since yesterday afternoon. She's losing her sweetest friend, as Cuddles so warmly embraced her coming into our house last December. They became thick as thieves.

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