To whoever stole my glasses, I will find you..

[Permanut]

I have contacts.

[mjvpi]

1. Good one. I was going to ask if you had cats.

[Permanut]

6. My cat would take them in a heartbeat..

[mjvpi]

2. Oh, you did address my favorite paradox. " I could find them so easily if I onlyhad my........"

[Permanut]

7. Oh, yeah, been there done that for sure.

[True Dough]

3. Is it possible

that they were framed?

[Permanut]

4. I could see that..

[Niagara]

5. Clearly

[UTUSN]

8. Hah!

[ProfessorGAC]

9. When Vincent Was A Puppy...

...he got hold of my glasses which were on the coffee table when I fell asleep on the couch.
Yep; ruined. Fortunately, it was a bright sunny day so I could wear sunglasses all day and my new ones were going to be ready after 3.
I did have an old pair to use in an emergency but didn't have to.
I chalked it up as much fault. I should have put them on the curio behind the couch.
He was, after all, still a little boy!

[Permanut]

10. Hey they looked like a perfect puppy toy!

[LudwigPastorius]

11. Permanut to the Thief:

"If you are looking for ransom I can tell you I don't have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for glasses thieves like you.

If you return my glasses now that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don't, I will go buy a new pair of glasses.

Then I will look for you, I will find you and I will make a spectacle of you."

[Permanut]

12. I like it, and the punch line is perfect!