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FakeNoose

(40,005 posts)
Wed Dec 24, 2025, 09:17 AM 6 hrs ago

The Borowitz Report: Bari Weiss Declares CBS Will Have Zero Tolerance for News



Link: https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/bari-weiss-declares-cbs-will-have

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—At a tense all-hands meeting on Wednesday, editor-in-chief Bari Weiss announced that, going forward, CBS News will institute a zero-tolerance policy towards news.

“Someone tried to slip some news into this past Sunday’s episode of ‘60 Minutes,’” a visibly angry Weiss told the gathering. “Fortunately, I was able to catch it in time.”

She reminded the newsroom that “as journalists, we all answer to a higher master: David Ellison.”

Next Sunday, CBS will air the first Weiss-edited episode of “60 Minutes,” now called “4 Minutes.”
- short article, no more at link -

Good one Andy!

It's interesting that before last week, Bari Weiss was only known for one thing: having an extremely wealthy father. Now she's added another thing to her resume: she also dances on her knees before the Golden Piggy.

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The Borowitz Report: Bari Weiss Declares CBS Will Have Zero Tolerance for News (Original Post) FakeNoose 6 hrs ago OP
Gotta love Borowitz MustLoveBeagles 2 hrs ago #1
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