Okay then. We have Patel's promise on video to take a test to see if he has a drinking issue

[senseandsensibility]

Sen. Van Hollen just asked him if he was willing to take an "audit" test that military members take to see if they have a drinking problem. Of course Patel had to say he'd take it if Van Hollen would, in his typical four year old level comeback.

Well, of course Van Hollen has never been accused of having a drinking problem, so he readily agreed. Then Patel said he would take it "side by side" with Van Hollen.

[tanyev]

1. I predict Aziz Ansari will make another appearance on SNL this Saturday as Patel.

[Fiendish Thingy]

2. What a maroon

The AUDIT is a 10 question screening tool that, if answered honestly, gives an accurate insight into the existence and severity of one’s alcohol use problem.

I can’t imagine Patel would answer the questions honestly.

[senseandsensibility]

3. Thanks for that info

I guess that explains why he's willing to take it.

[bucolic_frolic]

4. Maybe A1C test

It measures sugar over intermediate term, but alcohol does contribute to sugar. I wonder if there are correlations between sugar and alcohol.

[Fiendish Thingy]

5. Not a reliable determinant of alcoholism

Alcoholics have a higher rate of diabetes, but an A1C test isn’t a screening tool for alcoholism.

[senseandsensibility]

8. Van Hollen called it the "audit"

test, so I don't think it's for A1C.

[dem4decades]

6. What is this test, you have to answer honestly? Good luck with that.

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

7. He'll line up a row of shots

Slam them all down and say, "I didn't spill a drop. How can you say I have a drinking problem?"

[Attilatheblond]

9. Lock him for 5 days someplace where there is NO chance of getting a drink

Keep a video camera on him. Time will tell. DTs, like paranoia, strikes deep.

'They're putting Pink Elephants
Pink pink elephants
...
In new, improved Post Crispy Critters
The one and only cereal
That comes in the shape of animals'

Gadszooks, I am not only old but cursed with remembering every horrible product jingle from the 60s.

[Jirel]

10. Meaningless.

That particular test would require the subject to be truthful. He lies like a rug.

[canetoad]

11. I hope it"s

A live, televised biopsy of his liver.