NY Times Pitchbot FTW

[highplainsdem]

Doctors say that fluoride helps build strong teeth. A guy who snorts cocaine off toilet seats and takes raccoon penises home for “further study” says it causes autism. For busy parents, it can be hard to know who to trust.

— NY Times Pitchbot (@nytpitchbot.bsky.social) 2026-05-10T12:15:40.326Z

[rsdsharp]

1. I thought it was Tylenol that caused autism.

He’s expanding his reach.

[erronis]

2. Only the worm knows....

[nuxvomica]

3. That last sentence is so New York Timesy

[Martin68]

4. My theory is that "snorting cocaine off toilet seats and taking raccoon penises home for "further study" is a sign

of serious mental illness. Particularly if he thinks it's okay to talk about it.

[BurnDoubt]

5. Certainly NOT...

Fit to qualify for a KKKabinet Position.
This is Mockery of American Values… on Acid.

[FakeNoose]

6. But I need to know this ....

... has he snorted cocaine off the raccoons' penises and studied the dirty toilet seats?

I'll show myself out.

[angrychair]

8. Oh, is that what happened?

I thought he snorted dead racoon penises off a toilet seat while high on cocaine.

Silly me....

[GiqueCee]

7. Anyone so dirt stupid...

... that they believe a single word that the Shame of the Kennedy Clan gargles, deserves whatever happens to them as a result. The rest of us do not need to be subjected to his bile.

IT'S A SHAME THAT WORM DIDN'T STICK AROUND FOR DESSERT.™

[3825-87867]

9. It didn't stick around because

there was no substance left to consume!