Trump imagines negotiation with Sharpie maker for $5 signature pens

[mahatmakanejeeves]

Trump imagines negotiation with Sharpie maker for $5 signature pens

Trump told a lengthy story about negotiating over the price of Sharpie pens. The company says it has no record of any such conversation.

March 27, 2026 at 10:06 a.m. EDT Yesterday at 10:06 a.m. EDT
2 min


President Donald Trump holds up two Sharpie pens during a Cabinet meeting Thursday at the White House. (Alex Brandon/AP)

By Isaac Arnsdorf

President Donald Trump spent five minutes of Thursday’s Cabinet meeting boasting of his thrift with a story about negotiating for $5 personalized Sharpies. The company that makes the permanent markers said the exchange never happened.

{snip}

[Skittles]

1. WHEN DO THE MEN IN WHITE COATS SHOW UP

[tanyev]

2. Oh, good. Sharpies are an awesome product.

Glad the company isn’t groveling to the Boy Blunder.

[IcyPeas]

3. GIVE HIM MORE SHARPIES....... NOW!!!!!

If someone breathes in the fumes on purpose to get high (inhalant abuse) they can get very sick. They can have slurred speech, pass out and have an irregular heartbeat. Inhalant abuse can also make someone’s heart stop working and they can die. This is known as Sudden Sniffing Death, which can happen anytime someone abuses an inhalant.

...

The National Institute on Drug Abuse for Teachers says Sharpies contain volatile solvents, which are liquids that become gases at room temperatures. When inhaled, solvents produce a "high."

They can cause slurred speech, lack of coordination, euphoria and dizziness, and even Sudden Sniffing Death Syndrome. Repeated sniffing of inhalants can harm your vital organs.

....

So I put the lid on my beloved Sharpie and called up inhalant expert Ruben Baler of the National Institute on Drug Abuse, who specializes in the neurobiology of drugs. He explains that while research on inhalants (like Sharpies) and how they impact the brain is somewhat limited, we do know the culprit behind that unsatisfying high — volatile organic compounds, which are added to permanent markers because they evaporate and help the ink dry. “In general, they have an inhibitor effect on the brain, very much like sedatives or alcohol,” says Baler. Inhaling them slows down the brain, which results in symptoms like slurred speech, loss of coordination, nausea and so on.

[newdeal2]

4. I'm quite sure some White House staffer bought those pens online

There’s a million sites that allow you to customize merch like that.

But he doesn’t know that and had to invent this story to make himself seem like a macho tough guy. What a dolt.

[allegorical oracle]

5. He can't even tell lies very well. A higher IQ liar wouldn't bother with such

a mundane story. Only numb nuts fail to realize that they can be fact-checked, yet he persists.

[IronLionZion]

6. He's negotiating with voices in his own head

just like he negotiates with Iran and talks with former US presidents. It's just all in his own mind.