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Layzeebeaver

(2,213 posts)
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 07:20 PM 15 hrs ago

Blood Cancer has struck...

My wife's just been diagnosed with lymphoma and now the doctors have said that it also could be leukaemia. This has been a "spectre" since early November, but the first diagnosis regarding Lymphoma only came in late January. The Leukaemia factor only just today.

One of the issues that she's facing is that this insidious disease has attacked her liver, her pancreas and her kidneys - and as a result of all these organs not working properly she's been inundated with high levels of fluids that as you can imagine has caused her to expand into something unbelievable.

They've tried to drain the situation - 11 litres of fluid in one evening - which is amazing but, as a result of that, she's under quite a different kind of stress.

I'm quite concerned. I don't know what to do because there isn't much I CAN do. The medical team is doing the best they can and so I can only hope for the best.

I do trust the system - I think that here in the UK it might be difficult to get care you need initially – you know, if you have minor stuff. But if you really do have something serious, I have to admit, from my experience now, through this process, that the system is brilliant. They’ve attacked this like the SAS.

The teams are deployed, systems are focused, testing is allocated, and yeah, I think that if you are suffering from something like what my wife is undergoing, I now know that residing in a National Health care type system where you don't worry about it - they worry about it - It is actually good. From local doctors, emergency ambulance services, and multi-disciplinary teams, there has never ever been any comment or suggestion of a bill or payment required. It’s amazing.

However, all that said, it doesn't necessarily give me much comfort because I'm still unclear as to how things are going to resolve.

We've been together since 2003 and we do everything together. And…

There is no difference even in this situation - I wake up every morning… I work my way to the hospital… I'm there by her bedside every day for as long as I can whilst simultaneously trying to maintain my work because that has to happen too. And even after hours, we stay connected via text and email – sometimes even all through the night.

The medical teams are quite sensitive. The nurses and nursing assistant teams are focused completely on her situation and her health but they also do have those moments when they ask me how I'm doing - which frankly, considering the fact that I am completely emotionally compartmentalised (so as to allow me to get through this) I deeply appreciate what they are doing and trying to do.

I only have a few friends locally here in the UK. My closest friends are back in my home state of Michigan. But everyone regardless of the global location is trying to be supportive.

So anyway, that's where I'm at now - it's a bit depressing, but I'm getting through the day-by-day. At least I have a client that is supportive, “whatever you need, it’s least we can do.” almost caused me to breakdown.

So, I'm going to pause here. Only to add that I just thought it would be cathartic for me too sort of reflect on where I'm at right now and the challenges I'm facing. Although I'm not a frequent original poster on DU, I do try to stay engaged and read and understand what's going on and I know that others have posted regarding their own personal issues with health, food and other things and the community support has been wonderful to witness.

I thought I would just at least share some of this and allow a bit of release to occur.

Hopefully I can find some balance.

Anyway, thanks for reading. You don't have to comment, you don't have to respond, you don’t have to rec.

It doesn't matter… just writing this is probably enough for the moment…

thanks DU!

Joe.

67 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Blood Cancer has struck... (Original Post) Layzeebeaver 15 hrs ago OP
Still, will comment in solidarity. mr715 15 hrs ago #1
You both need a group hug malaise 15 hrs ago #2
Sending love to both of you. Hope22 15 hrs ago #3
Yes vent SuzyandPuffpuff 15 hrs ago #4
Sending best wishes to you both. Stay strong. sinkingfeeling 15 hrs ago #5
Joe .. my heart aches for both of you Greywing 15 hrs ago #6
My heart goes out to your wife and the enormous Ninga 15 hrs ago #7
Healing vibes on the way to you. SheltieLover 14 hrs ago #15
Healing vibes to you, my friend. niyad 12 hrs ago #50
And more healing vibes coming your way from here, layzeebeaver! calimary 7 hrs ago #56
Sending hugs and good vibes MustLoveBeagles 15 hrs ago #8
Prayers, positive vibes, and much love. Take care of yourself too..... a kennedy 15 hrs ago #9
I am so very sorry, Layzeebeaver Grim Chieftain 15 hrs ago #10
Healing vibes on the way to both of you. SheltieLover 14 hrs ago #11
peace to you, brother...peace. ret5hd 14 hrs ago #12
Sending you healing vibes for your beloved. Nevilledog 14 hrs ago #13
I'm so sorry for you both. Solly Mack 14 hrs ago #14
I am so sorry Dear_Prudence 14 hrs ago #16
RN friend told me to eat and drink hungry and thursty or not to be there for her. IA8IT 14 hrs ago #17
Sending hugs and strength. bamagal62 14 hrs ago #18
Oh dear, Joe! Whew, what a tough row you and your dear wife are now forced to hoe. It is such a strange feeling KitFox 14 hrs ago #19
"" AllaN01Bear 14 hrs ago #20
Layzeebeaver, I will keep your wife and you in my most holy thoughts peacebuzzard 14 hrs ago #21
So scary. I'm so sorry. mountain grammy 14 hrs ago #22
Sending hugs and healing wishes to you and your wife. Fla Dem 14 hrs ago #23
❤️ So sorry for all that your wife and you are going through. Sending warmest thoughts for healing and strength. chia 14 hrs ago #24
My heart goes out to you mercuryblues 14 hrs ago #25
Your dear wife's health maliaSmith 14 hrs ago #26
I am so sorry for you both. pandr32 14 hrs ago #27
We, here at DU, will comment and rec because we care. I pray for strength for LoisB 14 hrs ago #28
Sending prayers for strength and healing. hamsterjill 14 hrs ago #29
I can report that a neighbor, a friend, and a urologist all survived lymphoma...cured. surfered 14 hrs ago #30
I wish you all the best JoseBalow 14 hrs ago #31
Holding you and your loved one in love and light as well. niyad 12 hrs ago #49
Wishing a speedy and full recovery IbogaProject 14 hrs ago #32
Never hesitate to reach out here. nocoincidences 13 hrs ago #33
I want to add my best wishes to you, your wife and medical team Deuxcents 13 hrs ago #34
Sending love and hugs gademocrat7 13 hrs ago #35
I prayed for your wife and for you. Joinfortmill 13 hrs ago #36
I'm sorry you and your wife are going through this Layzeebeaver. Buddyzbuddy 13 hrs ago #37
I'm so sorry to hear of this. Please try to be strong for each other and do the best you can. Exp 13 hrs ago #38
I'm sorry cate94 13 hrs ago #39
Heartfelt 🫶☮️ godsentme 13 hrs ago #40
I'm so sorry to hear this, Joe. Sending hugs to both of you, and healing vibes. highplainsdem 13 hrs ago #41
Be strong RussBLib 13 hrs ago #42
I am very sorry you and your wife are going through this. brer cat 13 hrs ago #43
I'm so sorry stage left 13 hrs ago #44
So sorry bdamomma 13 hrs ago #45
I'm so very sorry that your wife and you have to go through this. HeartsCanHope 12 hrs ago #46
Glad you are in the UK Figarosmom 12 hrs ago #47
Holding you and your wife in love and light. Healing vibes for best niyad 12 hrs ago #48
I'm so sorry. area51 12 hrs ago #51
(((((Hugs for both of you))))) UpInArms 12 hrs ago #52
Love and healing thought to you both. Marie Marie 11 hrs ago #53
Holding your wife and you in my thoughts and sending good vibes and support across the pond. MLAA 11 hrs ago #54
Feeling helpless to really help is hard. summer_in_TX 9 hrs ago #55
Believe me, I know what you are going through. pnwmom 6 hrs ago #57
In solidarity. We know this anxiety. Wishing you both all the best. QueerDuck 4 hrs ago #58
Joe barbtries 1 hr ago #59
Writing thing down helps clarify them, which you did wonderfully! lark 1 hr ago #60
Dont give up hope Playingmantis 1 hr ago #61
Nurture 🧡 Comfort 🩵 Healing energy to your wife and yourself 💚💚 Clouds Passing 1 hr ago #62
Hugs AKwannabe 1 hr ago #63
best wishes with the treatments, this link may help Nigrum Cattus 23 min ago #64
Best Of Luck, Joe ProfessorGAC 13 min ago #65
I am sorry you are experiencing all this. NNadir 11 min ago #66
Wishing you the very best. AltairIV 9 min ago #67

Hope22

(4,563 posts)
3. Sending love to both of you.
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 07:28 PM
15 hrs ago

I hope they can find something to give your wife for some relief. Be sure to take care of yourself. Caregiving is is exhausting. Sending thoughts up that you find answers. 💗🙏🏼💐💗

SuzyandPuffpuff

(459 posts)
4. Yes vent
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 07:30 PM
15 hrs ago

Reach out you're amongst friends and colleagues that have "been there done that"...cancer of any form is insidious. Invasive. Cruel. Unrelenting. Your fam in the states stand behind your and especially her. Sorry for you both. Cancer sucks

Greywing

(1,164 posts)
6. Joe .. my heart aches for both of you
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 07:33 PM
15 hrs ago

I know your wife is in good hands and there really is nothing anyone of us can do when our loved ones are struck except be with them.

You are a blessing and such a good person as you accompany your wife on her journey.

Ninga

(9,004 posts)
7. My heart goes out to your wife and the enormous
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 07:35 PM
15 hrs ago

task she has been handed. In 2020 I was diagnosed with Large B Cell Lymphoma that appeared to respond well to chemo with scans showing no evidence of the disease making me believe I was on way to remission. In 2023 I became ill and found that I had a totally different Lymphoma-FLL - treatable but not curable.
I will hold her in my thoughts, prayers and heart. I will pray for her doctors and their success in treating her. I extend warm hugs to you because of helplessness, worry and stress.

calimary

(89,354 posts)
56. And more healing vibes coming your way from here, layzeebeaver!
Fri Feb 13, 2026, 02:56 AM
7 hrs ago

You don’t have to lift this load alone.

And MANY hugs!

Grim Chieftain

(1,452 posts)
10. I am so very sorry, Layzeebeaver
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 07:40 PM
15 hrs ago

That's a tough diagnosis. If it is any comfort, one of my dear friends, who was also my major professor at grad school, was diagnosed with leukemia in his thirties and lived until his late seventies. He played tennis and golf for many years and lived a full, active life.

My husband's friend, also a professor, was diagnosed with lymphoma and lived into his late seventies.

There is hope. Please know you are in my thoughts and I am sending you and your wife positive vibes and good wishes.

SheltieLover

(78,554 posts)
11. Healing vibes on the way to both of you.
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 07:54 PM
14 hrs ago

Not sure if this will be helpful, but I saw this new cancer treatment they are using at Vanderbilt for liver cancer & posted the article:

https://democraticunderground.com/11469899

I'm glad you both have adequate support, but please feel free to lean in on DU.

Dear_Prudence

(1,125 posts)
16. I am so sorry
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 07:59 PM
14 hrs ago

That you two are going thru this. Your just being there to support her is a huge contribution to her well-being. Take care.

IA8IT

(6,384 posts)
17. RN friend told me to eat and drink hungry and thursty or not to be there for her.
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 08:00 PM
14 hrs ago

She was right.

Tears and Hope to Both of you.

bamagal62

(4,413 posts)
18. Sending hugs and strength.
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 08:05 PM
14 hrs ago

My husband was diagnosed with lymphoma 2.5 years ago. He had to have lots of fluid removed 2x per week from around his lungs for months. He is now in remission. (He is still receiving rituximab shots and white blood cell boosters shots.)
Good to hear she has a good medical team. Take care of yourself. ❤️ Sending you and your wife love and positive energy.
Cancer sucks.

KitFox

(521 posts)
19. Oh dear, Joe! Whew, what a tough row you and your dear wife are now forced to hoe. It is such a strange feeling
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 08:06 PM
14 hrs ago

watching the rest of the world go on around you and your world has come to a screeching halt. Please know how much we care and want you to come to us with your thoughts and feelings. This time nine years ago, I was at my husband’s hospital bed every minute for weeks. My heart goes out to you! Sending strength and hopeful hugs your way. 🧡

peacebuzzard

(5,845 posts)
21. Layzeebeaver, I will keep your wife and you in my most holy thoughts
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 08:18 PM
14 hrs ago

I will pray and light a candle in a very special sacred place during my upcoming travels on Ash Wednesday.

Fla Dem

(27,505 posts)
23. Sending hugs and healing wishes to you and your wife.
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 08:22 PM
14 hrs ago

All the best to both of you. Please keep us posted as you travel this terribly difficult path. We Care!!!

chia

(2,774 posts)
24. ❤️ So sorry for all that your wife and you are going through. Sending warmest thoughts for healing and strength.
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 08:24 PM
14 hrs ago

mercuryblues

(16,269 posts)
25. My heart goes out to you
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 08:29 PM
14 hrs ago

It is daunting the 1st few months. Trying to get the body adjusted to everything, then the real battle begins. I know this sounds odd but take care of yourself. If you don't you won't be able to be there for her.

Let me tell you about my Shrek legs.

After my first few Chemo treatments, I swelled up similar to what you described. My brother being my brother said...OMG Merc, you have Shrek feet. I thought the nurse was going to faint. I cracked up and looked at her and said, well he ain't wrong.

I was finally diagnosed with a Pseudomonas infection. I called it a Harry Potter spell. This bacteria is found in almost everything. When you are healthy you just slough it off. Not a big deal. When you get this sick the rules change.

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/25164-pseudomonas-infection

One way to combat this and other infections in the future sounds odd.

A neutropenic diet. Boil drinking water. you can have have canned or well cooked fruits and veggies, not raw. Think applesauce, not fresh apples. The heat destroys the bacteria in your food.

more at:
https://www.mskcc.org/experience/patient-support/nutrition-cancer/diet-plans-cancer/neutropenic-diet

You guys will learn to live by test results and what you can do on your end to make it through this.





maliaSmith

(174 posts)
26. Your dear wife's health
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 08:29 PM
14 hrs ago

I'm sending big hugs to both of you in your health journey. I hope it works out well for both of you.

pandr32

(14,013 posts)
27. I am so sorry for you both.
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 08:32 PM
14 hrs ago

It is an awful ordeal, but don't feel defeated. Your devotion and daily presence means so much to your wife. You can fight this better together and hopefully she will be able to go home with you soon.
Sending hugs and hearts.

LoisB

(12,614 posts)
28. We, here at DU, will comment and rec because we care. I pray for strength for
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 08:35 PM
14 hrs ago

you both through this journey and remain hopeful for a good outcome.

surfered

(12,451 posts)
30. I can report that a neighbor, a friend, and a urologist all survived lymphoma...cured.
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 08:38 PM
14 hrs ago

Their treatments involved chemotherapy and, in one case, stem cell therapy all at M D Anderson in Houston, TX.

The neighbor died of old age. The friend and Urologist are still kicking. So, don’t give up hope.
❤️🙏

JoseBalow

(9,332 posts)
31. I wish you all the best
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 08:38 PM
14 hrs ago

I am in a situation very similar to yours, I understand what you're going through. Please remember to care for yourself.

IbogaProject

(5,714 posts)
32. Wishing a speedy and full recovery
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 08:41 PM
14 hrs ago

And good wishes on you both holding up emotionally. Please speak of the strengths of simply covering everyone and how it really smooths care in emergencies and with serious situations.

nocoincidences

(2,483 posts)
33. Never hesitate to reach out here.
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 08:47 PM
13 hrs ago

If you need, you are among a large group of the most compassionate and helpful people you will ever encounter. All in one place!!

Deuxcents

(26,129 posts)
34. I want to add my best wishes to you, your wife and medical team
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 08:47 PM
13 hrs ago

For the best possible results so you can get on with your happy lives together. 🌺

Buddyzbuddy

(2,343 posts)
37. I'm sorry you and your wife are going through this Layzeebeaver.
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 08:59 PM
13 hrs ago

Speaking from experience, it sounds as though you're doing everything you can for her, just being present. It can be her greatest comfort. One bit of unsolicited advice, take a moment for yourself, to recharge. It's easy to become so focused on your wife that you forget to eat and rest. You might underestimate the stress that takes a physical toll on you.
I wish you both well.

highplainsdem

(60,962 posts)
41. I'm so sorry to hear this, Joe. Sending hugs to both of you, and healing vibes.
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 09:15 PM
13 hrs ago


It sounds like your wife is getting good care, and I hope to hear she's doing better soon.

As was mentioned above, it's important that you take good care of yourself, too.

We're here for you.

RussBLib

(10,475 posts)
42. Be strong
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 09:18 PM
13 hrs ago

She’s probably better off in England than back in the states, considering the healthcare systems, and especially with he-who-shall-not-be-named in office.

Waves of healing.

brer cat

(27,456 posts)
43. I am very sorry you and your wife are going through this.
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 09:19 PM
13 hrs ago

Stay strong and positive, and spend as much time as you can with her. It truly makes a difference.

HeartsCanHope

(1,570 posts)
46. I'm so very sorry that your wife and you have to go through this.
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 09:44 PM
12 hrs ago

Sending healing vibes and much love to your wife, you, and your families. You will all be in my thoughts.

Figarosmom

(10,652 posts)
47. Glad you are in the UK
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 10:04 PM
12 hrs ago

Where care isthe top priority. Just take it day by day and make each day the best you can. Best wishes vfor you both.

niyad

(130,682 posts)
48. Holding you and your wife in love and light. Healing vibes for best
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 10:05 PM
12 hrs ago

possible outcome. Know that your DU family is here for you. Lean as hard as you need. There is always someone here.

hugggggggggs

UpInArms

(54,511 posts)
52. (((((Hugs for both of you)))))
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 10:42 PM
12 hrs ago

Hoping for a good outcome for your wife and that you stay strong

My virtual arms are around you

summer_in_TX

(4,071 posts)
55. Feeling helpless to really help is hard.
Fri Feb 13, 2026, 12:53 AM
9 hrs ago

Especially when it's the one you love most in the world. Your devotion is heart-warming. I so hope and pray for the best for you and for her, Joe.

pnwmom

(110,225 posts)
57. Believe me, I know what you are going through.
Fri Feb 13, 2026, 04:05 AM
6 hrs ago

My sister is in that same in-between stage of lymphoma and leukemia. They're also looking at her thyroid.

I hope you have family there to help you through this. At least your wife's in the hands of a health care system that you trust. (My sister is also fortunate to be living in a city with excellent care. And I guess Medicare here is as close to NHS as we get.)

The best of luck to you both!



barbtries

(31,237 posts)
59. Joe
Fri Feb 13, 2026, 08:58 AM
1 hr ago

I'm so sorry your wife is so sick. Please keep us posted. You have DU always. Sending positive thoughts for a positive and speedy resolution.

lark

(25,967 posts)
60. Writing thing down helps clarify them, which you did wonderfully!
Fri Feb 13, 2026, 09:29 AM
1 hr ago

Thankful your wife and you are in England, where you are obviously getting topnotch and QUICK care - which is often not the case here!

ProfessorGAC

(76,207 posts)
65. Best Of Luck, Joe
Fri Feb 13, 2026, 10:29 AM
13 min ago

My mom had a form of blood cancer (actually the opposite of leukemia) for 25 years.
The infusions held it remission for a LONG time.
When she did pass, that illness is not what did it.
So, don't give up hope.

NNadir

(37,611 posts)
66. I am sorry you are experiencing all this.
Fri Feb 13, 2026, 10:31 AM
11 min ago

I am glad you and your beloved are working in a decent system of care in which you have confidence.

We all wish you the best outcome under the weight love brings.

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