White House Dementia Care Unit Tells Trump He's Designing A Great Big Boat!

[Zorro]

Boat day! Boat day! Boat day! Boat day! Boat day!

Yesterday news dropped that Donald Trump and Pete “Shitfaced” Hegseth, his incredible loser Defense secretary who shrivels into a submissive childlike stance whenever President Daddy is next to him, would be making some kind of huge announcement in the afternoon. Bombing Venezuela? A new drink at the bar in Shitfaced’s office at the Pentagon called the “Warfighter,” made with just rosé and GHB? Ladies get in free if they sign an NDA?

But no, Trump and Shitfaced were announcing a whole new special class of BATTLESHIPS, and Trump was helping design them himself! You know, because he’s such a fuckin’ shipbuilder. What are they doing, letting him have some Elmer’s Glue so he can stick some of those cheap, tacky Home Depot knick-knacks he’s put all over the Oval Office on Naval ships now?

Clearly this is another White House Dementia Care Unit situation, even though the announcement happened at Mar-a-Lago. Grandpa, you’re making a boat today!

It’s good for him to have activities.

So the general story is that Trump announced a new class of ships that he is calling “battleships.” It will be part of the “Golden Fleet,” because everything is golden with that Liberace bitch. We really like how all the news orgs are like “yeah, um, he is calling them battleships,” like we all understand that they aren’t really battleships, but this is what grandpa is calling them, he has no fucking idea what a battleship is, but whatever.

https://www.wonkette.com/p/white-house-dementia-care-unit-tells

[UpInArms]

1. Oh dear gawd

“They’ll be the fastest, the biggest, and by far 100 times more powerful than any battleship ever built,” Trump claimed during the announcement at his Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida.

Whaaaat? The fastest and the biggest and the by far 100 times more powerfulest? Tell us more, President Snake Oil!

[The ships will be] fitted with “guns and missiles at the highest level,” hypersonic weapons, electric rail guns, cruise missiles and the “most sophisticated lasers in the world[.]”

Lasers for weapons that haven’t even been invented yet? This sounds like a ship that’s going to be built in real life!

“The US Navy will lead the design of these ships along with me because I’m a very aesthetic person.”

[Walleye]

2. Shitfaced is a great nickname for SecDef

[Talitha]

3. "everything is golden with that Liberace bitch"

[RoadRunner]

4. They're part of his Golden Fleece.

Innit?

[LetMyPeopleVote]

5. MaddowBlog-Trump names battleship class after himself, advancing his personalization crusade

Sticking his name on everything is especially difficult to defend as it so plainly does little to meet the nation’s needs.

The personalization of government is advancing at ridiculous speeds:
- Trump-class battleships
- Trump’s name added to Kennedy Center, Institute for Peace
- legal-tender coin featuring Trump’s face (on both sides)
- Trump Gold Cards
- Trump Accounts
- F-47 fighter jets
- 47-day ICE training

— Steve Benen (@stevebenen.com) 2025-12-23T14:04:44.654Z

https://www.ms.now/rachel-maddow-show/maddowblog/trump-names-battleship-class-after-himself-advancing-his-personalization-crusade

It’s hardly a secret that Donald Trump desperately wants to apply his name to things, but the president cares nearly as much about adding the word “gold” to assorted labels. Just in the course of the past year, for example, we’ve seen him emphasize everything from “Gold Cards” to a “Golden Dome” to a “Golden Age” for the nation. (Never mind the shiny curlicues he’s slapped up all over the Oval Office.)

Once in a great while, though, the Republican finds a way to check both boxes simultaneously. My MS NOW colleague Erum Salam reported:

The United States will build new ‘Trump-class’ battleships as part of a ‘Golden Fleet,’ President Donald Trump announced Monday. […]

‘They’ll be the fastest, the biggest and by far 100 times more powerful than any battleship ever built,’ Trump said at a news conference at his Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida. He was joined by Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, Navy Secretary John Phelan and Secretary of State Marco Rubio.

So, on the one hand, we’re talking about a fleet that joins the president’s “golden” list while, on the other, Trump is also naming a class of battleships after himself. The White House promoted illustrations of the unbuilt ships featuring an emblem that centers Trump with a raised fist — a detail that reinforces concerns that this is less about national security and more about self-aggrandizement and self-glorification on the part of the president.

Trump Class battleship illustration, as released by the White House.

— Steve Herman (@newsguy.bsky.social) 2025-12-22T22:55:14.884Z

For those keeping score, Trump and his allies have now applied his name to the Kennedy Center and the Institute of Peace, unveiled a commemorative legal-tender coin that that will feature his face on both sides and launched “Trump Gold Cards” and “Trump Accounts.” By some accounts, the president wants the upcoming White House ballroom to be named after him, too.

But wait, there’s more. Trump wants a football stadium in the nation’s capital to be named after him; the nation’s next-generation fighter jet will have an F-47 designation in honor of him (he is the nation’s 47th president); and training for incoming Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents was reduced from 50 days to 47 days for the same reason.

We are witnessing the personalization of the American government in real time, and it’s advancing at ridiculous speeds (and in ridiculous directions).....

Montgomery said the new frigate has “zero tactical use” and that officials appear to be “focused on the president’s visual that a battleship is a cool-looking ship.”

This isn’t how a global superpower is supposed to function. The administration’s plan is moving forward anyway.