Mean Judges Take Away Old Taco Bitch's Loser Tariffs

[Zorro]

Every reporter should ask him about tacos today.

Let’s cut to the late-breaking lede: A three-judge panel from the US Court of International Trade ruled that Donald Trump cannot have his idiot tariffs, no not any of them that he levied under the alleged authority of the Alien Enemies Act, he does not have this power. The judges — one of whom was a Trump nominee, another was Reagan — ruled that Trump simply cannot snap his fingers and declare it an “emergency” in order to use laws like the Alien Enemies Act. Yet another judge telling us that no, it is not an “emergency” when Stephen Miller has a bowel movement that lasts more than four hours and it makes him want to fuck up some non-white people.

White House spokesperson Kush Desai said that trade deficits amount to a national emergency “that has decimated American communities, left our workers behind, and weakened our defense industrial base — facts that the court did not dispute.”

OK, Kush Desai, what did Wonkette just say about how it’s not an “emergency” just because Trump woke up on the “Hitler speeches” side of the bed? The plaintiffs said it too, and the judges agreed:

The plaintiffs argued that the emergency powers law does not authorize the use of tariffs, and even if it did, the trade deficit is not an emergency because the U.S. has run a trade deficit with the rest of the world for 49 consecutive years.

So that happened. Trump is of course appealing, and it will probably go to the Supreme Court. But this is a huge and humiliating loss for Trump. If he was any less of a loser, he might take his two dolls and go the fuck home. Alas, he has chosen to stay and fight, like a dipshit.

Anyhow, Dow Futures for today’s trading day are saying “Wheeeeeee!” because Wall Street is absolutely jizzing itself at the notion that very soon, Trump might not be able to destroy the world economy just because his feelings are hurt or he doesn’t understand how worldwide commerce works and Peter Navarro tells him the only way to fix it is to put a 150 percent tariff on literally everybody and crash the global markets all over again.

Oh happy day!

What’s even funnier is what happened fewer than 24 hours ago in the Oval Office, when a hysterically public humiliation for President Thin Skin occurred, one that renders this court ruling simply the humiliating cherry on top. This is why we’ll forevermore be making “taco” jokes about that dumb loser son of a bitch.

https://www.wonkette.com/p/mean-judges-take-away-old-taco-bitchs

[dalton99a]

1. Kick