Salon's Kristi Noem burn is brutal. And accurate. And well-earned.

[Miles Archer]

Kristi Noem's proud MAGA bimbo act builds on the legacy of Sarah Palin

The GOP adores a woman who plays dumb to build up the man she's serving

https://www.salon.com/2025/05/23/kristi-noems-proud-maga-bimbo-act-builds-on-the-legacy-of-sarah-palin/

By Amanda Marcotte
Senior Writer
Published May 23, 2025 6:00AM (EDT)

Does Kristi Noem know what habeas corpus is? One thing we know for certain: She would very much like Americans to believe she does not. On Tuesday, the head of the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) used a Senate hearing to insist the legal term means the opposite of its actual definition. "Habeas corpus is a constitutional right that the president has to be able to remove people from this country and suspend their right to," Noem said through her unnervingly Botox-inflated lips. She was interrupted by Sen. Maggie Hassan, D-N.H., who explained to a smug-looking Noem that, no, habeas corpus "requires that the government provide a public reason for detaining and imprisoning people" and is the reason it's illegal for Donald Trump to round up immigrants and imprison them in foreign gulags without offering a legal reason why.

Was Noem legitimately confused? Jonathan Chait of the Atlantic thinks so, writing that Noem's "ignorance appears to be utterly genuine." After all, "habeas corpus" is a Latin term used by lawyers but not much by laypeople, especially those, like Noem, who got a college degree through online courses at age 40. But I'm not so sure that Noem, who has been neck-deep in this debate about basic human rights for months, is as dumb as she seemed in that moment. Those who keep watching will notice that Noem doesn't act embarrassed when she's corrected, like normal people do when they get something so terribly wrong. Instead, she insists that "the President of the United States has the authority under the Constitution to decide if it should be suspended or not." In this lie, Noem admitted that Trump is trying to suspend habeas corpus, not uphold it. It suggests that she knows full well what the actual legal battle is about.

There was much mockery of Noem for being so dumb in mainstream and left-leaning media, but notably, neither Noem nor her allies have shown any shame or defensiveness about her alleged mistake. Whether Noem comes by her confusion honestly or she was just play-acting, she's there to play the role of the proud MAGA bimbo, in the grand tradition of figures like Sarah Palin. The MAGA bimbo isn't just ignorant. She's contemptuous of people who actually know what they're talking about, especially if those facts-laden human beings are fellow women.

In the world of MAGA, stupidity is a badge of honor for both sexes, but the heads of women need to be thoroughly empty. Book learning, in MAGA-land, is for lesbians and cat ladies. Intelligence gets in the way of the true duties of MAGA womanhood: keeping up your highly artificial appearance and, crucially, defending the man you serve with your whole heart and soul. Especially if said man, in this case Donald Trump, is himself dumber than a box of rocks. It's so much easier to be a yes-woman for such a man if you turn your own brain off completely.

[sop]

1. Amanda Marcotte's got Kristi's number...

"The MAGA bimbo isn't just ignorant. She's contemptuous of people who actually know what they're talking about, especially if those facts-laden human beings are fellow women...In the world of MAGA, stupidity is a badge of honor for both sexes, but the heads of women need to be thoroughly empty. Book learning, in MAGA-land, is for lesbians and cat ladies. Intelligence gets in the way of the true duties of MAGA womanhood: keeping up your highly artificial appearance and, crucially, defending the man you serve with your whole heart and soul."

[DENVERPOPS]

19. Without exception

every single woman he has chosen to be in his administration has to conform in several ways......

She has to be willing to do ANYTHING for the chance to be in the spotlight of the Trump Cabal. She has to gloat over him constantly, and feed his immense ego with flattery.
In preparation to be accepted into his inner circle, she has to go get a TON of Plastic Surgery and LIPO. She has to get the required "Republican Rack", preferably DD. She has to change her hairstyle to look like Melania's.... Then, most of all, she has to have a needle stuck in her head, and half her brains sucked out....

[LilElf70]

2. Why does

this wench still have a job in the government? I think she's proven many times how incompetent she is.

Noem - YOU'RE FIRED!!!!!

[Miles Archer]

3. Because she gave Trump a 4-foot replica of Mt. Rushmore with his face on it, and he lives for fealty

I am 100% convinced he would have picked her for VP if the "Cricket" story hadn't come out.

But even with that, groveling, sycophantic worship ranks high on Trump's job requirements list.

[sop]

7. Groveling and sycophantic worship are the only Trump job requirements.

And a good answer to "How much money are you going to steal for me?"

[LilElf70]

9. I'm guessing that

kissing the ring(or fill in the blank) has it's benefits. It's unbelievable what is going on in DC.

[the nelm]

17. Look at her boss...n/t

[Skittles]

22. ONCE AGAIN

anyone behaving like this in any other job would be FIRED OR REPLACED

[vapor2]

24. Rep Delia Ramirez gave her a resignation form , guess she hasn't signed it yet

[surfered]

4. She knows the MAGA base.

[surfered]

5. As a young man, watching Walter Cronkite's 20th Century program about WWII,

I always wondered where Adolph Hitler found his henchmen. It seems theses types of people will always be with us. Some are true believers, others will crawl out from under a rock motivated by hate or a need for self importance, power, or money.

Noem could have easily been a Nazi.

[The Madcap]

6. Could have been?

I think that ship has sailed.

[sop]

8. At least Hitler loved his dog Blondi.

[Fil1957]

13. Dunno 'bout that. I saw some old color home movies with Hitler and Blondi at the Berghof and

the dog was cowering, like she was afraid of him. Smart dog.

[Mysterian]

16. Hitler killed Blondi

So much love.

[sop]

18. Hitler ordered Blondi euthanized before he committed suicide.

Reportedly, Adolf wanted to "prevent Blondi from falling into the hands of the approaching Soviet Red Army, fearing mistreatment or abuse....SS physician Werner Haase was ordered to administer a cyanide capsule to Blondi. Blondi died as a result...Hitler's reaction: While he was expressionless while watching her die, he became 'completely inconsolable' afterward."

[Mysterian]

20. Hitler wanted to make sure his cyanide capsule would work

Blondi was the guinea pig.

[sop]

21. Hitler shot himself.

[artemisia1]

25. He simultaneously bit down on a cyanide capsule as he fired.

[sop]

28. Adolf also "fell" from a fifth floor window as he shot himself with one hand and took the pill with the other.

Being such a loyal dog, Blondi also died when she followed Hitler out of the window. Observers said Hitler screamed out "Heil!" as he exited the window, but the obedient Blondi thought he said "heel!"

[Irish_Dem]

27. Noem is a Nazi.

[cachukis]

10. Have not really paid much attention to Noem as

she presents as an action figure. The entire cabinet is a scripted reality show government.
The disdain for intellectual curiosity is evident at every turn.
Marcotte has made me think more deeply about the screenplay as it molts to a stronger shell.
This government ignores the calling out, what little there is, and I deeply worry how ingrained the players against accountability have taken control.
Trump is riding high on the shoulders of these acolytes and we are without a cohesive response according to the media.
We see what's happening and even the deep thinkers don't see a counter to this juggernaut of proud ignorance.
Even Wall Street brushes off the madness as strategy.
Evil lurks in the minds of men and the rebuttal needs a moment to grab onto.

[IronLionZion]

11. The worst insecure dumbasses want the people around them to appear dumber

Contrast that to Dem presidents. Real leaders want knowledgeable advisors to give them the best informed policy advice available.

[SouthBayDem]

12. of course 2008 was long before social media became exceptionally toxic

Facebook and Twitter didn’t have as much reach then. So combatting the “Obama is Muslim” talking points was relatively easier compared to 2016.

[dchill]

14. Which is dumber? Not knowing what habeas corpus means...

...or knowingly breaking the Constitution?

[atreides1]

15. She is that dumb!

Why would Noem be embarrassed? That would require her to believe that she's not right about her definition...need to stop giving her and the others more credit than they actually deserve.

We need to stop believing that Trump's minions are like normal people, while any one of us might feel embarrassed or a little ashamed at our limited knowledge...people like Noem and the rest they don't fall into the same category.

In a way they are just like the inner circle of an idiot, they're dumber then the man they serve...

[Efilroft Sul]

23. There but for the grace of dog she could've been our vice president.

[artemisia1]

26. I remember the Coast Guard awarding us certificates as "Founding Members of the Department of Homeland Security" around

2002 or 2003. Given the Patriot Law, Merika love it or leave it hysteria, and the build-up for the Invasion of Iraq, needless to say I was not deeply honored. Honored to wear the uniform, of course, but not the Bush Admin. Tom Ridge was the first Secretary of DHS who I served under. I could not imagine serving under Secretary Noem or President Trump. Out of the frying pan and into the fire...

[J_William_Ryan]

29. This is spot-on.

Trump Cult members take great pride in their ignorance and stupidity – and exhibit contempt for knowledge and intelligence, both of which interfere with the disinformation and lies that is the currency of conservativism.

[Miles Archer]

31. They're also enjoying a "contact high" from Trump's SCOTUS "total immunity" benediction

You can't take people like Noem, Hegseth, Gabbard, Patel, RFK Jr, and put them in ANY situation where they might face accountabilty.

And, under Trump and a Republican majority in Congress, they don't.

[Blue Full Moon]

30. They want bubbly personality and to be a bubble head

[LetMyPeopleVote]

32. There's something oddly creepy about Kristi Noem who didn't get her Bachelors Degree until she was 41 online

Link to tweet