Spurious News: Trump allows obscenities on television news broadcasts, almost immediately reverses
NEW YORK (Spurious News Network) -- Claiming newscasters are "injured" by not being able to curse while making news reports, President-for-Life Donald Trump today signed an executive order exempting news broadcasts from the Federal Communications Commission's anti-obscenity rules.
"How are you going to properly report the news if you can't say bad words?" asked Trump. "If you can't call the fucking Mexicans that, or the goddamned Canadians or those fucked-in-the-head Greenlanders, you can't really report the news."
Less than 30 seconds later he issued another executive order reversing the first one.
"Some anti-American bastard on a station I won't name said 'And now we're going to tell you about the latest fucked-up shit that moronic bastard Donald Trump did' before going into a 20-minute rant about how awful I am. Everyone knows I'm the most favoritist president of all time, people didn't even like Idi Amin as much as they do me and they loved him in Morocco when he was still alive, so I can't allow anyone to say anything bad about me." Ugandan strongman Idi Amin was one of the most hated people in the world.
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